1991 June 21rst
Some of the dates may not be correct
Summer vacation 1991 of grade 8
The first official day of summer , well vacation , what All kids, and maybe some adults wait for through out the year. Hoping for new beginnings , friendships , and maybe that special someone, like in the movies. I think they're far fetched personally and , give 99.9% of the human race a higher expectancy level than can be fulfilled. It seems like through most of anyone's life , were looking for love the sweet innocent love we all dream of. Which rarely happens , we fall and most of that love never lasts. Our hearts are broken , we curse the day , and constantly think of that person , or dream the sick things we could do for payback. Love is a complicated fucked up thing. I act as if I'm busy at fourteen years old to boyfriend or a crush. But I'm actually just not a attractive person , inside or out. I'm social , but rude , I'm nice , but sarcastic it's like I'm bi polar. But Oh god my appearance , I'm tall not even in the cute , delicate, lanky way , at least 5'10" , I'm chubby , with a thick thighs , and plump stomach , pepperoni stick like arms. It's disgusting. My eyes are the colour of shit , my hair resembles a raven coloured rats nest. I would be the exact definition of disgust to any women or mans view. My thick curly shoulder length hair might of been a rats nest but sadly was my best feature. I always try to look good but fail depressingly. My whole short fourteen year existence is a failure to be honest. I've never had a real boyfriend , I've had crushes but of course they never work out for me , because well. I'm the "friend" every boy I know we become great friends and that is it , my hopeless crushes have became friendships because I'm "one of the Guys" it's always been this way and always will. I don't even know why my friends are dragging me to this stupid "senior party" we're all fourteen and thirteen. But they want me to meet someone new . While they all have boyfriends which are going great for them , I am single of course . The last couple minutes before the bell they're chattering to me about how great the party will be. I just blank out I honestly don't care. I mean my friends are different . They're not really my friends. They're just cold , grey , useless friends. I talk to them just because I'm lonely . When the bell rings , my "friend" Lindsay pulls my arm and drags me from my desk with a leap of excitement. "Come on Joey ! " she exclaims "don't be miserable it's summer vacation were going to a party , were getting ready , and you're going to be happy about it" her pale skin shimmers , long bleached blonde hair sways in the wind as we walk down the street to her house to get ready. Her mom opens the door with that annoying cheery smile. She speaks calmly "hello girls how was school" her fake breast spilling out her blouse with that oh so tight pencil skirt held her perfect enhanced frame together . You see to get this out the way Lindsay's mom was well... a gold digger , she was married to a eighty year old man named frank. She used him for his money , before she was married to him. Lindsay and her mother were dirt poor. But then she met the creepy old playboy type man and married as soon as possible. I walked through the door and smiled , that oh so fake smile Ms. Robinson did following Lindsay to her room. She started getting ready first thing. Even though the party was at 9 only , and it was 3 pm. She put on a light coat of powdered foundation glossed her lips and brushed her long silky hair. And put a flowly cream silk maxi dress. She looked beautiful. Lindsay was a natural beauty , barely wore makeup . She didn't have to try and she knew it. She has every boy in her small dainty palm. I on the other hand needed work... She started right away putting on her "en vougue" vinyl "don't let go" played and it wasn't my type of music . But it was a lovely song. Lindsay brushed through my thick curly hair , and out that flat iron at its highest heat and put it right through my hair burning me slightly. Tugging , pulling . After she was done my hair was china doll straight . My raven hair fell under my breasts. She caked on my foundation , but gave it a natural finish , she took a light pink cream blush and coloured my cheeks. Filled in my eyebrows , and have me winged eyeliner and spider eyelashes adding two sets of falsies. She coloured my lips a deep red almost a Maroon. She gave me a short skater black skater skirt , with white knee highs , a white cropped top , and a over sized jean jacket. To my surprised my thick body fit into the clothes she gave me it was 8:30 pm already , and she gave us both a couple spritz of perfume and we were off. Her much older boyfriend picked us up in his car , he was around 19 her mother didn't mind as long as she wasn't caught with him it was alright. He wasn't my type he had deep brown hair in a quiff , bright blue eyes, and a slight beard. He was cute but too cute. I hopped in the back as she sat beside him. He kissed her hard and stroked his thumb over her small thigh. I sat quietly , and stared at my feet twirling my fingers. He laughed and said "hey". He stared at me differently though. A deep gazing stare like he was lost. Lindsay kicked his foot and just smiled at me. I was nervous and just sat quiet. He played his sonic youth record on full blast. "Teenage riot" pounded in my ear as we drove most definitely past the speed limit not being stopped by one cop surprisingly. With the awkward silence besides the music we finally arrived at this house party. Loud music boomed through the large mansion like house . People were already passed out drunk on the front lawn and it was only 9:00pm on the dot. I walked through the door and Lindsay's boyfriend grabbed her by her hips and walked through the door high fiving everyone there. I just walked behind them quietly. Following them like a lost puppy the whole time. Lindsay finally told me to get lost politely. "go talk to someone! Joey you look so good ! Come on go" she spoke and I walked around the party quietly. I was straight edge but tonight was different I smoked my blunt. Rolled in blue berry flavoured juicy j papers. I stood in the corner watching countless seniors pass by and make out and throw up drunk off there ass. Heart started playing , "finally a good song" I thought to myself "magic man" started playing and I swayed my hips to the music while moving my head side to side. Getting into a trans to the music. Smoking my blunt blowing "o's". I looked in the middle in the room and saw a guy much older than me probably 16-17 talking to his friends in the corner. He looked over my way and looked back to his friends shyly. "Ofcourse he ignores me" I thought and continued to puff away. I looked up and saw him walking my way. "Come on home girl he said with a smile you don't have to love me but just stay a while" ironically played as he walked this way. I felt nervous. "Why is he coming here" "he's probably just going to make fun of me". So many questions circulated through my head as I thought, and there he was right infront of me smiling. He was the definition of beautiful. He lad long ombré hair black at the roots and stopped half way and went blonde . He had deep brown eyes , he was lanky. He has muscle but not too much. He was tall atleast 6'3" . He was perfect. I wanted him. "Hello" he finally spoke. I smiled awkwardly and gave a small wave of my hand and looked down awkwardly. "I'm trip" he simply said. "Joey" I spoke and puffed away my anxiety. "Ya gonna share that" he said and pointed to my blunt. I stared in space and finally stated "um ..yeah". I smiled and passed it quickly to him and looked down to my feet. He spoke up "so ah what grade ya in?" . "Oh I'm going to ninth I'm 14" . "Oh. Cool I'm 17" . I was thinking "as if I care" but I didn't say it out loud because I'm pretty sure I go to his school now. "That's cool I'm going to Munro next year , where do you go to ?" "Wow! I go to Munro too that's fucking sick, I'm in 12th grade I started late. I'm turning 18 September fourth" . Yes I thought to myself finally cute boys at my school. "Oh that's cool " I simply stated passing the joint back and fourth smiling slightly. "Ya wanna get out of here ? " he questioned I thought he would try to avoid me because of my age. But it seemed like he wanted to maybe get to know me... Yes I know shocking. I just followed him upstairs to the bathroom. Suprisingly no one was in sightt but us, he locked to door behind us and I swallowed hard. He laughed slightly at my nervousness and stated simply pushing his hair out his face. "Don't worry I'm not trying to plug you" and laughed again. I smiled shyly and nodded my head. And sat on the toilet. He slid into the bathtub like it wasn't awkward. And put his feet up. His chin rolls were defined but I thought It was cute. I giggled and he smiled. "Come here" he stated cutely trying to be dominant but failed ofcourse. That crooked , boyish grin he had told me he was up to no good what so ever. But with how naive I am I went over and sat in the edge of the bathtub. He took out a box of cigarettes and lit one and put it in his mouth. "So what doya like to do" he smirked. "Like ...sex?" I asked awkwardly. He chuckled slightly "nah babe" "hobbies, interests, if sex is your hobby... Well we should definitely talk more" I blushed a deep red , my tan skin became orange. " I like writing..and music a lot. "Oh really? What type of music babe ?" Uhh babe whenever he called me that my heart melted just a little bit. "Bikini kill, sonic youth, led zeppelin , heart , Jesus lizard , hole , nothing but the best I giggled" . He smiled that smug smiled that made me want to die. Of happiness ofcourse. "I like your style" he stated simply. Just like that we just blended. We spent the rest of the night just spilling our guts to each other. I knew everything about him in such a short short period of time. He knew everything about me. No one did but him. We were laughing at each other , smiling , and telling secrets the whole night. I felt as if I knew him my entire life. It was only a day. But it was just great. It was simple and great. No strings attached you know. Just talking. Considering I thought I'd never see him again I got ballsy. I went up to him and scooted in the tub with him very nonchalant , and I kissed him. It was a hard passionate kiss, he started kissing back and I ran my fingers through his hair and just let everything go in the moment besides my lips on his. I was breathless after three minutes. I just got out the bathroom and walked out leaving him in the bathtub shocked. I was in shock about what I just did , I never would of expected that from myself. Walking home stumbling about 3 miles from my house in the middle of nowhere. I was tripping and stumbling not even out of drunkeness. Maybe from being "love drunk". It wasn't even a one night stand and I feel like a classified whore. I thought there would be no point of waiting for Lindsay because I wanted to leave now. I hummed the beat of "magic man" on my way home, thinking of him, his lips , his smile , his hair . His humour. His everything. As I walked along the road I was worried and scared of something happening it was possibly 2 in the morning and I was going home possibly to angry, worried parents. "God fuck it" I thought. I went through the dark forest along the highway like a fucking idiot, and took off my jacket and made a bed of of the grass beneath me and slept away my insomnia from the past school year. I dreamt of the thought of him. Every separate dream I had tied him in. I had to see him again.
