Depression Battle

My start

I dont know how it is for everyone else but for me... well you can say it's hard.

I live a normal life. No divorced parents, a great group of friends, a joker, average student at school. Definitely not some one who you would think that suffers from depression.

I believe it started around the beginning of my junior year.

Everything was going great and I can't pin point the exact moment everything changed. I started to get stressed out about everything, I suffered from sleeping problems and school got harder. Not as in the material was hard, more as "I can't pay attention or retain anything that the teacher says" kind of way.

My headaches would start growing and lasting longer. Triggered by the smallest of things.

My mood changes became more noticeable and harder to hide. I could be laughing at something or someone and a second later y would snap and my mood would become sour.

Or the crying. That was the worst. It came of majorly nowhere. Some times just lying in bed looking at instagram or my snapchat all this thoughts of how I was worth less would flood my mind.
"You can't be like that"
"Of course he would prefer her"
"She's prettier"
"Hotter"
"Smarter"
"Nicer"
"You are nothing"
"Have no special talent"
"N0 talent"
"Dumb"
"Stupid"
"Fat"
"Depressed"
And all this would send me on a spiral. My happiness gone in a matter of seconds, tears came streaming down my cheeks, appetite gone, sleep gone. And the next day. Uf the next day. Putting back on my happy face. Trying to ignore the bags forming under my eyes and if anyone asked I just told them I had a rough night of study. 'Cause I don't want people to know this part of me. I am the joker. Not the crier. What would they think of me if anyone knew?

Jamie.

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Question: who do you see as Jamie?
I imagined her as a greened eyed, brown haired girl. Hbu?