Would You Cry?

It was just a regular day, Katya and Trixie were recording their 4th episode of UNHhhh of that sitting and their topic - crying.

"Would you cry at my funeral?"
Katya suddenly asked, interrupting Trixie rambling about her corset.
"I don't think you're ever going to die"
Trixie didn't miss a beat, not stopping to think about what Katya asked, assuming that she was joking. But she wasn't.
"No. I'm gonna ask you straight up, are you going to cry at my funeral?"
Katya had a desperate tone to her voice, she wanted to know Trixie's answer, needed to know in fact.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I will."
Trixie looked over to Katya with a look of concern written all over her face. What spurred this on? She met Katya's eyes and searched for her answer, but Katya had shut her out, wouldn't allow the barbie to look deep into her soul, like she did before.
"If I died tomorrow, you'll cry?"
Katya was seeming more urgent with her questions. Trixie's brow furrowed, was something wrong with Katya?
"I wouldn't know what to do with myself"
She hated how her voice cracked on the camera, this was a private moment between the two of them. She hoped that they would scrap this bit, not upload it to YouTube for the whole world to see, but knowing Chris and Ron, this would definitely be included in the short, 10 minute episode. Anything to get the fans raving about Trixya. She felt tears accumulate in her eyes. She hated the idea of Katya dying at all, let alone tomorrow. Part of her was tempted to stop the whole recording and take Katya home, wanting to have this conversation in private but as if Katya was reading her mind, before she could do anything, Katya had started talking again.

"You would cry if I died?"
Katya probed again, looking for reassurance. Trixie picked up on this and frowned. What was bringing all of this on? Nevertheless, she replied.
"Of course I would"
She winced a little, knowing how weak she sounded but she could barely focus on that right now. Something was wrong with Katya and she wanted to know what it was.
"Ok good"
And with that, they got on with the rest of the episode.

They filmed a few more episodes, making sure they had enough to upload before their television show started. They were both sat in the dressing room, de-dragging. Well, Katya was de-dragging, Trixie was staring off into the mirror, deep in thought. After 5 minutes, Katya noticed that Trixie hadn't moved and grabbed her hand. Trixie jumped a little and turned to face her best friend.

"You okay Trix?"
"Are you ill? Are you dying?"
Trixie knew he sounded weak, but he couldn't bring himself to make his voice louder than a whisper, he was too shaken up about the day.
"What? No! Of course not."
"Then why did you ask if I'd cry if you died tomorrow? If you're not dying then why? Why would you ask if I'd cry? Of course I'd cry you stupid cunt. Do you underestimate how much I care about you? Do I not show it enough? Just please talk to me Brian. Please!"
The use of Katya's real name shocked him, they normally just call each other by their Drag names. This must be serious.

Katya stood up and walking closer to Trixie, crouching in front of him, grabbing his hands to comfort him. He didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, trying to string words together in his head.
"The truth is, I'm scared. I'm getting older, my body's fucked up from drugs and alcohol and one day, it is going to fail me and who's going to be there when it happens? I've got you, and maybe Roy, Justin, Aaron and Shane but that's it. I'm not that particularly close to anyone. The people who I do talk to, it's usually about work and gigs. When I do die, who's going to care? Who's actually going to show up to my funeral and give a shit that I'm gone?"

Katya stood back up and walked away, standing on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall. Trixie stood up and went to join him. He wrapped his arms around the older queen, bringing him into a bone shattering hug.
"Oh Bri..." He sighed, thinking of ways to comfort him.
"I would care. You know I would. You know I love you, if I don't show it enough I apologise but I do, I do care. My heart nearly broke when you were talking about dying. I don't think I could live in a world where you're not there everyday cheering me up. Bri, you are my whole world, you're there to cheer me up, you're there to give me advice when I inevitably make stupid mistakes, you make me laugh, you make me cry but I wouldn't have it any other way okay?"
He wiped the tears that had fallen from Katya's eyes from his speech and let go of the older queen. Neither of them said anything for a while until Katya broke the silence, his voice quiet and weak.

"Can I have a small kiss?"
Trixie smiled slightly and leant in, pressing hisnlips against Katya's in a sweet, yet still a little passionate, kiss. At some point, he realised that this wasn't Katya and Trixie kissing in front of the cameras to keep the fans happy, this was Brian kissing Brian, yet strangely, he didn't seem to mind.