The weight of a loss

Chapter 6

The next morning they woke up late, but felt like they hadn't slept in days. They were both exhausted. They decided to stay in the loft all day, watching some movies, while Martha and Alexis went shopping.
It was almost 2 pm when someone rang at the door. A sleepy Rick opened the door.
- "Well, well. Enjoying the day?" said Lanie joking.
- "Hey, come on in" he said while opening fully the door. "Kate is sleeping, I'm going to wake her up".
- "No, no let her sleep. She need it."
- "Fine. You want something to drink?" he offered her
- "A coffee please."
Rick made her a coffee and they sat on the couch.
- "How is she?" Lanie asked
- "Not so good. She doesn't want to eat, she keep having nightmares. And I'm useless."
- "What? Don't say that! You're not. She loves you more than anything."
- "Yes, I know..."
He was about to say something when Kate came out of the bedroom, still in her pjs.
- "Hey" she said, kissing Lanie's cheek and sitting on the couch.
- "Hey" said Lanie.
- "I'm going to let you two speak. I'm going to meet Alexis and mother." He said kissing Kate's head and living the loft.
- "How are you doing sweetheart?" asked Lanie, worried about her best friend.
- "I'm fine."
Lanie gave her the "I know you lie" look and Kate buried her face in her hands. Lanie came right next to her and rock her back up and down. Kate put her head on Lanie's legs and started crying.
- "Shh. Shh. It's ok. Cry, honey cry."
- "I miss him so much!"
- "I know you do."
- "I didn't even saw him. I want to see him, Lanie." She said crying and sobbing. She couldn't sleep. She finally let all the feelings get out. She know Lanie was the only person she could tell all she was thinking. She was her best friend.
- "Kate, it was better for you to not see him. It would have destroyed you."
- "I already am. Oh Lanie... How can I live without him?"
- "You will. You're a strong woman. You've been through your mother's death. You will be through this one."
- "How can I? I killed him for Gods sake!"
Kate stood up and run to her bedroom. She fell on the floor, against the wall, her legs folded against chest. Lanie followed her and sat down in front of her. Kate started to suffocate and panic.
- "I... can't... do this... without him!"
- "Kate, Kate. Listen to me. Take a deep breath. Calm down, it's going to be ok."
But Kate couldn't calm down. Instead her breathing went harder and harder. She started to feel like she was living her body.
- "I... I need... Rick!"
Lanie run to take a bag and dialed Rick's number. She put the bag in front of Kate's mouth.
- "Here. Take deep breaths. It will help you... Hey Rick, you have to come" she said to her phone.

Rick had just met his mother and daughter when Lanie called him. He was only a few blocks away so he ran to his loft. He arrived 10 minutes later and came straight to where he could hear Kate's sobs. He took her in his arms, lay her on their bed and knelt next to her.
- "Kate, babe, listen to me" he said rocking her hair "I'm right here, calm down. It's going to be. You're going to be ok."
Kate finally calmed down thanks to Rick's words. Tears were rolling down her cheek, but she was fine now.
Rick kissed her and went to the living room where Lanie was waiting.
- "Thank you Lanie"
Lanie only nodded. "You know she will need help, help from someone outside of this situation"
- "Yeah, I know. But it's only been 5 days. I'll talk to her later." He said
- "Sure. I have to go. Call me if you need anything."
He nodded and Lanie left. Rick walked to his bedroom and sat next to Kate.
- "How do you feel?" he asked
- "Better. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
- "Hey hey" he said, cutting her off and taking her into his arms "don't be sorry, it's ok."
- "I love you"
- "Me too Kate."