ROSETTE

Act 1, Scene 1

(Lights lit the stage to reveal two jolly friends Orente and Tiwa discussing over a bowl of ice-cream. The stage depicts two gigantic shopping bags.)

Orente: This ice-cream just dey cool my head.

Tiwa: As in...

Orente: After a hectic day with that lecturer, the ice-cream is cooling my bones. (Takes a huge lump of ice-cream) Did I tell you my dad has returned from Dubai?

Tiwa: When?

Orente: Just yesterday. Guess the latest.

Tiwa: Abeg, throw gist.

Orente: He bought me a Lexus car. He has shipped it into the country already.

Tiwa: But what are you doing with a car when some of your lectures no get bike sef.

Orente: That one na my business. Baby gal, are you not happy for me?

Tiwa: Sure now, I dey happy. I was thinking - you don't have to ride a car on campus.

Orente: So I should leave it at home. Who will drive it at home? Again, I'm hardly at home so...e ehn, I get a gist for you. I now have a personal laundryman on campus. My dad got one for me. For laundry, washing, and starching inclusive, it is just 100k per week.

Tiwa: Ah ah wetin?

Orente: I can't wash with my fixed nails. Moreso you know I always fix my nails.

Tiwa: So a whole 100k for...are you kidding me?

Orente: The laundryman can't go less than that. In fact, initially, he was saying 200k but trust my dad now, the business tycoon is on point.

Tiwa: Eh Orente

Orente: Yes

Tiwa: What do you think - make I dey wash for you. I go iron, starch, perfume, everything and you go dey pay me 100k. In fact, I fit to give you a discount?

Orente: You no dey okay.

Tiwa: I dey serious.

Orente: You wan chop me dry. For where? Abeg let's sort out these clothes we bought.

Tiwa: I'm taking that cowl neck gown.

Orente: No now...I'm already taking it. I said it at the boutique.

Tiwa: But I was the first to sight the gown.

Orente: What matters is that I said it first.
Tiwa: First come; first served nah.

Orente: Tiwa, I'm taking this gown. You fit to take the lace.

Tiwa: No, you take the lace. The cowl neck gown will even be too tight on you.

Orente: The tighter; the better.

Tiwa: For once in your life, give me something wey you like.

Orente: (Thinking about it)You fit carry go.

Tiwa: Paddy for life!

Orente: But I will take the cashmere jacket.

Orente: I no dey argue that one with you...CURTAINS FADE