"You just gotta chill." Donny speaks dully to the window before taking a long drag of a cigarette, his third one today.
He makes it sound so simple, as if I haven't tried. We moved here three months ago and it's only gotten worse. Things back in Cali weren't perfect, but they were better than they are in Missouri. The weather here changes a thousand times a day, my graduation class is half of what it was, and here, in the bible belt, you have to be the perfect, straight, christian, white girl. I am white, but I am far from straight and my faith in "God" is anything but strong.
The sunset shines through the thick gray clouds and brings me back from my daydreaming. Donny remains indifferent as I flop back on my bed. He's the one thing I still have. He graduated last year, but can't support himself and has no interest in college, so he moved with us, and I'm glad he did.
"How can I 'chill' when you're filling my room with smoke?" Donny takes another drag and blows it out in my face with a childish grin. He may be approaching 20, but he's far from grown up in many ways.
Waving away the smoke, I cough and thank my parents for brotherly love. We laugh together for what seems like a second in eternity, and for a moment we're home. I want to kick him out, but on the other hand, I like the feeling of my brother's company, so I sit up and return to finish the current song I'm writing. It's long been a work in progress, so I'd like to finish it tonight. Eventually, after a few measures, I realize my brother has wandered off and I'm alone again. It's comforting in a way. Luckily for me, this isn't my first time songwriting, so I manage through most of it. After finishing the lyrics, I notice my Mom is home and Donny is practicing his guitar. It must be a good day because she even steps in to compliment him. I can't wait to attend one of his gigs. I drift off to sleep as I think about how things used to be.
