The heart of an 'ex' lover!

to you!

I would write you a message one for each time the thought of you crosses my mind, disrupting my healing,I would write these letters from the different personalities within my being

I would put my thoughts down so that when ever you see them, it reminds you of all the hurt you caused, the pain and worries you added to my existence,

I would write your thoughts down,yes the ones you told me about, so when you see it, it can remind you of the heart ,my heart,that you broke!

For all the sadness and hurt you caused me, I'll write this letter to and for you....

All I needed was for you to pay attention to the little details that mattered, well, so,what now you are gone and in time,real soon, none of it would matter anymore.

My one mistake was falling for you because now,now I just can't fall out of love with you! The truth is that the memory of you still floods my mind sometimes, peeling the old wounds.

The truth is that you claiming to miss me now is just simply a lie, like the very many other lies you told.

The deal I want to know about is how all this is just cool to you,pheewch why am I asking,everyone knows you have always been too cool for life,sitting over there watching all what we shared die off ,watching me hurt and die on the inside....boy, you hurt me right,I guess it's because I loved you right...... when you left, you told me i was too good for you.....how didn't I realise this before..... you stole my joy and my pride.....How dare you walk away like all of it meant nothing?

You got me hooked...hooked and addicted to your lies,but then the problem was that somehow I knew you were lying but I overlooked all of them so much that I eventually started believing them.....and it hurts so much, it feels like I tore out my heart, handed it over to you and watched you make holes in it.... you let me go so easy, you didn't even put up a fight!.....

Questions I wanted to ask,the last I saw you, but my heart was just to bent on letting you go.....do you still love me, do you know I still tell people that I am yours,I still listen to our favourite songs and when it gets too depressing, I delete them just to redownload them again......do you still miss me and the memories we made, because I still take myself out to dinners in our favorite restaurant on our anniversary hoping you would show up, well, I guess I'm still in denial.

What precious cold comfort you were but one thing I realised that was basically human was the fact that the people we claim we are done with, those ones we tell our friends are dead to us,are the ones that we stalk the most,the ones we sit on lonely streets waiting and hoping they come, but by the end of the wait they don't show up because guess what, they've moved on without you,I do this too, don't be ashamed the ones that claim they are too strong to do such do this too, but what I think you should know;

Do not pick up his phone call after the many times you left him messages without response, because honey, he is drunk, lonely and alone.

Do not let him in because he will hurt you yet again,he never learns

Never be just friends with him because you will eventually end up in his bedroom, on his bed,you are too good to be his rebound and if you are still onto him you will never get over him.

*writing out my thoughts*

Sweetie, its all you
To hell with him,he doesn't and shouldn't matter anymore, he has moved on without you!

You are all that matters now,because honestly baby, you are the only thing that is everlasting to you!

You are of much importance and value to yourself and all those who do care, stop having headaches for him,treat yourself right!

Baby,you matter!

Melvenah
On 03/11/2017