It all started off oddly; my life, that is. See, because today was an okay day. It hadn't started off with being hit or bossed around. And this made it a better day. I stared out the window of the car as my boyfriend drove me to school. I was glad that he hadn't asked what was wrong. He was usually quiet and reserved, usually.
When we reached the school, he pulled into his spot and idled for a few minutes before turning off the car. He glanced at me and leaned over to kiss me softly, as I leaned forward slightly to kiss him back a little more firm than he'd started out. When he pulled away, he smiled at me, his eyes warm and kind.
"Love you," he said, "I'll meet you here, after school, unless you wanted to walk?"
"I'll meet you here." I murmured with a gentle smile. "And I love you too."
I was too embarassed to ever wear short sleeves out, and it was always too hot for jackets, and long sleeved tees, but I wore them anyways. I was ashamed of the way I'd treated my body in the past; I admit it, I'm a cutter. My boyfriend didn't know this. It's the one and only thing I've never told him, never told anyone in fact. Not even my parents. I had though, admitted to him that I was very insecure and that I had ways of dealing with it. When he asked how I dealt with it, I'm sure he knew by the look in my eyes, what that way was.
I slowly opened the door, wincing as I felt the pull of the recent cut. I made sure not to let Jake see it at all. I knew the risks, and I really, really didn't care about them.
"See you after school," I said, with a faint wave, before I turned, grimaced again, and walked into school.
During school, I just stayed alone since I had no classes with Jake and no lunches with him. I ate in the library, read, went back to class and learned. I wasn't paying full attention though, since my arm throbbed softly along with my pulse.
After school, I stood by Jake's truck. I sighed, feeling worn down by the monotiny of going to school day after day. And as I saw Jake walking towards the truck, I smiled, forgetting that it might be his twin brother Zeke for the moment.
When he got up to the truck, he hugged me tightly and gave me a long kiss. When he let go, I pulled back and blinked. It was Zeke. Shit. I thought, backing up a few steps as he smirked.
"God dammit, Zeke! Stop pulling this shit on me." I growled at him, as I leaned against the hood of the truck to wait for Jake.
I could pretend to be as mad at Zeke as I wanted, but it didn't do anything. I still liked him too. But I also liked Jake. I didn't know what he'd do if I told him that I liked both him and his brother.
Zeke just smirked at me, leaning against the side of the truck. I watched Jake walk up the parking lot to his truck, frowning when he saw Zeke, but smiling when he saw me. He really was quiet. When he reached the truck, he ignored Zeke and smiled again, at me.
"Hey, babe." He murmured, kissing me softly on the lips. He hugged me, and then stepped back. He blinked at the bandage that showed slightly on the back of my hand. "What happened?" He pulled my sleeve up and his mouth fell open. "You promised me you wouldn't do this to yourself anymore."
I winced as he let go of me and stepped back. "Jake.."
"No, Adeline. You promised me you wouldn't mutilate yourself anymore! God.. what even drove you to do this, this time?"
I turned away from him, clutching my arm to my chest. "I needed to know I could still feel." I said softly, as tears spilled from my eyes.
"Feel?" His eyes went wide. "Did I do something wrong? Can you not feel around me?"
Zeke looked worried now, watching me.
"Jake, man, just let her be." Zeke murmured, putting a hand on Jake's shoulder.
"I.. I'll just walk home," I said, my voice soft, but steady. You'd have had to see my face to know I was crying. And with that, I turned and walked through the parking lot, silent tears running down my face. No one understood what I was going through, what was happening to me.
