Something different (interacial love) process of editing

Chapter 13

The next day, I wake up with a headache as if I drank  too much the day before. I took in to much of Josiah in the secret room. I get ready for school,  wearing long navy blue dickies and a gray shirt. I tie my hair up into a lose bun.

I stand in the mirror and begin thinking about yesterdays events. After the whole Josiah thing, I made sure I avoided him at all cost. I even skipped another day of conditioning, which I know that if I keep missing them,  I will be kicked off.

I head towards the kitchen and eat some eggs and toast. Once I hear the bus beeping, I go outside and get on the bus. 

The bus ride seems extra short today. Maybe the bus driver knew about my kiss and decided it will be great to speed to school today so I can run into Josiah. But of course, it is all in my head.

Once we are at school, I sit on the bus and just wait for all the kids to get off before I do. When I finally get off, James is waving at me.

He was waiting for me.

I do a weak smile and go towards him, and he kisses my forehead. I feel that sting of guilt, burning through my head, and I try to ignore it.

I know I wont do it again. I made a mistake. I try to reassure myself.

"You want to go to the cafeteria to hang out before class?

"No!" I say a little too quickly and loudly,  and it startles him. "I mean, I just don't wanna go there today." I place my hand on his arm.

"Oh okay. Where do you want to go?"

The secret room. I think, but shove the thought out of my head.

"I don't know, anywhere." I say and he smiles, pulling my hand.

We begin walking through the halls and of course we run into Josiah. He is walking our way, but not really looking at us. I look away from him and James calls him to us.

Why does he always do that? 

"Hey bro what's up." He says doing that guy hand shake.

"Hey man, how is everything? Josiah looks at him with tired eyes. I can't help but wonder why he looks so tired, but of course I will not dare ask him

"Good. I'm trying to find a good spot for us to be alone before class starts. Any suggestions?" James askes.

Josiah then looks at me and I know what he is thinking about. The secret room. He then looks back at James and shakes his head.

"If you guys plan to make out, I suggest behind a building."Josiah grins and I roll my eyes. 

James looks at me and it looks like he is considering the idea and I just look at him shocked. "You're seriously gonna take that suggestion? Why don't you two go back there and keep me out of it." I say leaving them both behind.

I don't know why I am angry at James. I'm the one who went behind his back and kissed a guy in a place where we were alone. I know its my guilt bothering me.

James catches up to me and pulls my arm so that I am facing him. He watches me with worry.

"What's wrong? I wasn't thinking of us actually doing what Josiah suggested.  I just wanted a place to hang out. We started dating last week, I don't see a reason to rush into the initmate parts of dating." He reassures me, putting his hand on my cheek stroking it. As he does that,  I place my hand on his, until I remember Josiah doing that yesterday and I move away from his grasps. 

He looks hurt. "What is wrong with you today? If you need space, tell me. I won't say no. Talk to me later when you are feeling better." He says taking my hand and squeezing it before leaving.

I stand there amd feel like an idiot and head straight to class.

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