Life behind the fame; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Chapter 13

Alaska's P.O.V

Sighing do I sit up in bed, my hair in an interesting state as I pull my fingers through it.

I feel like crying yet I can't put my finger on why I feel this way, totally empty inside.

"Come on Al, tell me what's going on"

Georgia come back from the living room, sinking down next to me in bed, her arm around my shoulders as I lean my head against her.

It felt good to have her there with me even though I didn't really know why I needed her in this exact time.

"I don't know Geo, I just feel.... Shit"

Biting my bottom lip do I sniffle, the tears finally starting to stream down my face.

I swallow, my hands shaking as I don't know what's wrong with me.

"I think you're in love Al, you just gotta admit it"

Surprised do I look up at my best friend, her face blurry through my tears.

Me Alaska Millers being in love, no I wasn't, I'd never been and I wasn't planning on falling for someone any time in the near future.

"No I'm not!"

She chuckles, wiping away a few of my tears as she looks at me sweetly.

"I showed you a picture of Conor with a random girl and you just ran away into your bedroom and totally broke in front of me, You tell me how that isn't love"

My heart start beating fast in my chest as she talks about the photo, the photo of Conor quite literally eating a random girl's face.

It hurt I must admit but surely that didn't mean I was in love with him.

"That doesn't mean I love him though, I just feel bad for how he clearly have to do that to feel something"

Letting my stare drop down to my lap do I fiddle with my nails. I'd never been in love so I couldn't tell you how it feels like.

He wasn't in love with me though so it doesn't mean anything anyway, like how could I possibly be better than first of his pretty much perfect ex but also all the other girls out there.

"I still think you like him though otherwise you wouldn't be at his all the time"

Sighing do dry my wet cheeks with the arm of my hoodie.

I'd still not told my friends the real reason behind mine and Conor's close friendship, the secret about his depression and anxiety being kept with me until he felt strong enough to speak out about it.

"Then I'll let you think that if that makes you happier"

"Good, now what do you want to do?"

She stroke my back comforting a small smile growing on her lips as I chuckle quietly.

Maybe she was right, maybe I liked Conor more than him just being a close friend, yet scared to admit it do I push that thought to the back of my mind, the way we had it now was way better anyway.

We got what we wanted without having to feel trapped with one another. Like you were free to hook up with whoever you wanted still we knew that it wouldn't change what we have because that's kinda special.

"Have seen that guy recently by the way, it feels like ages since you talked about him?"

I turn to Georgia, her cheeks flushed as I name her recent love interest.

It had been someone she'd met in a club and then they'd just continued to see each other, pretty similar to mine and Conor's story to be honest.

"Oh shut up, I didn't think you and Cal liked when I talked about him and yeah, we talk a bit I guess, not like you and Conor though"