Chapter 1

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You know what prologues and I have in common? They are both vilified. Hopefully, the prologue and in medias res hasn't deterred you from reading on. Everything was all rainbows and unicorns until the first of January. The clock chimed three times.

I groaned and opened my eyes. My head pounded as if someone was hitting me with a mace. What happened last night? Images flicked in mind. People played beer pong.

People danced. Some people were making out. And then there was me... Knelt before the porcelain throne and vomit spewed from my mouth like a fountain. Classy.

My cheeks burned. I envisioned mother rolling over in her urn. Somebody knocked on the washroom door. I got up. What time is it?

I looked at the clock. It's half past ten. They knocked again.

"Come in."

The door opened. A woman's curly medium brown hair bounced off her shoulders as she walked towards me. She wore an emerald green shirt and transparent hair veil along with black trousers.

"Peace be upon you, Lucifer." She said and kissed me.

"Unto you peace, Leviathan," I replied and then kissed her.

In Heaven, angels greeted each other with a kiss on the lips. However, family member kissed each other on both cheeks. Leviathan crinkled her nose. She went over and flushed the vomit-filled toilet.

"How are you faring?"

"I'm well, thank you," Leviathan replied and handed me a yellow potion.

I thanked her and then drank the potion. The hangover vanished. Thank Sekhmet for alchemists.

"You can freshen up and I'll make tea. Join me in the study. There is something I need to tell you."

"All right. I'll be there."

***

I quickly freshened up and went to the study. The ticking clock echoed in the room. Minutes trudged along. I rapped my fingers on the arm of my chair. What took Leviathan so long?

She prided herself on being punctual. Although patience is a virtue, rectitudes were not my forte. And let me tell you, my mental counselor tried their damnedest to make me a better person. They needed a medal for their efforts as I am an acquired taste. I winced.

The runes all over my body throbbed and glowed red. A surge of energy rushed down my spine. I shivered. Evil has arrived. My heart skipped a beat.

Bang! The door fell with a crash. I rose from my chair. Demons rushed into the room with their weapons drawn. And these schlemiels believed they could kill me?

How adorable. If I were them, I'd be ashamed of my wardrobe choices. Bright neon shirts and trenchcoats with bejeweled trousers and boots. Not even the gaudiest of street whores would be caught dead in wearing that. Oh well.

Beauty decays while stupidity lasted for eternity. Schlemiel number one marched towards me with a grin.

"Get on your knees!" He pointed a gun at my head. 

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