Destiel: The Forbidden Love

Sam and Dean returned from their last hunt sweaty and bloody. Sam told dean  “Hey bro I’m gonna go get some Teletubbies and Pokemon books, TTYL.”

 

“Ok” Dean said, as he got out of the car and left sam alone. Sam drove away.

Dean opened the door and saw Castiel on the motel bed. He was completely naked. Dean noticed his little Tic Tac - holy moley that is NOT a Tic Tac- dangling between his hairy gorilla legs.

“Hey Dream. Shit motha fucka I mean Dean.” exclaimed Cas.

Dean joined cas on the bed. They started to kiss then Cas began to strip Dean of his clothes.

 

Cas said “You are covered in sweat and blood. It’s pretty hot babe.”

 

“We should take a steamy shower it’ll be even hotter” Dean whispered,  winking at Cas. The two took a hot shower containing kisses, petting, and grinding. After the shower, Dean asked Cas for the wifi password.

 

Cass said ”Okay, but only if you suck my dick.”

 

“Can I do that for free?” asked Dean. The two then proceeded to fuck each other.

 

Then Sam walked into the motel...

 

“Da fuq gurl without me. JK. You stupid gay weirdo. I knew you was gay when you said you wanted to watch Glee with me last weekend. And when u got me a Barbie that one year for Christmas… mh mh MH.” Sam said angrily.

 

“No! we are umm…” Dean (A.K.A. “Dream”) said.

 

“My angelic powers are rejuvenating! Fuck off dumb bitch! Lawdy jesus ...” Castiel screamed.

Sam closed the motel door, trying to shake a weird but wonderful thought of Castiel massaging his horny dick named Rachael.

 

“Thanks.” Dean muttered.

 

“Your eyes make me want to grapple your dick. I don’t know what grapple means but that’s what I want to do to your sexy body, gurl!” Cas said, licking his chumpy lips with all his slobber.

 

“ Dang you kinda ugly. You remind me of a dog.” said Dean.

Cas shifted his eyes and turned his head away.

 

“But did I ever tell you DOGS TURN ME ON?” Dean asks, wiggling his bushy eyebrows.

 

All of a sudden, when the two are laying naked on the motel bed, the room begins to shake and the sound of Ariana Grande’s screech from her new song “Problem” (in the top ten of ITunes!) at the frequency of 1000 blenders  blasts in the sweaty and horny couples’ ears. They cover each other’s ears with their feet.

 

Sam bursts back into the room, screaming into a megaphone.

 

Over the rumble he made when he broke all the mirrors, Sam yells “Wait. So you guys are gay?”

 

Dean replies with “We have been a thing for 2 months! I have come out to you like twenty times already!” while Cas persisted to lick his ear and kiss his neck. “Some people here have the memory of goldfish…” Dean whispers under his breath.

 

“Say what?” Sam questions.

 

“Nothing dumb hoe. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Shoo, shoo.” Dean says, waving his hand in the air as a gesture for Sam to get the fuck out of his business.

 

“Excuse you I paid for this room with MY old Girl Scou- UM I MEAN CUB SCOUT- money I earned when I was 7. But ah God! Nasty. Could you not screw while I’m in the room? YOLO fuck them Cub Scouts I’m checking out another room.”exclaimed Sam.

 

“Gladly, but did you bring pie?” We all know who said that. (It was Cas.)

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The next day Sam was lonely so he went to the cemetery where Jessica was buried. He digged up her body and talked to her all day. Then in the evening he had sex with her smelly, limp corpse.

 

When Dean found out what Sam had done he yelled at him for “being a sick butt licker” and “ a Satan worshipper”.

 

Sam replied with “You and Cas would have done the same thing if one of you had died.”,

which as we all know is probably very true.