My shit show of a life

The past

I remember
My dad on his knees beside my bed
Crying, screaming
The words "she's gone"

The world stopped
Utter silence
Confused even though I knew what happened

One step at a time my feet hit the cold hardwood
Creaking with each step
The hallway felt longer
My toes stopped at the change from hardwood to carpet
The doorway

Bracing myself for what's inside
I back away
I can't
I couldn't picture her cold
I didn't want this to be reality

I fell to the ground beside my dad
Still in my room
Held him as he cried
My eyes still dry
I still couldn't comprehend

My silence was disturbed by creaks
The hallway
I peak out my door thinking this was a joke
I had to see her alive
Please let this be a dream
No

It was my brother
His eyes barely open from his sleep
He was still innocent
Still pure
But about to be shattered

He saw the emptiness upon my face
He knew even through he was only 6
He knew
He didn't want to hear it
But it blurted out
I'm sorry brother

Tear drops bounced on the hardwood
Not my tears
His
He runs to the doorway of where she lay
He jumps on her blue lifeless body
Mommy wake up
She lay still
Cancer had won