What You Have Done (Tsubaki x Depressed! Reader) [Modern AU]

Part Four: Off Your Chest

You were at school after waking up to wrapped arms and in your bed. But you tore off your mother's attempt at making it heal and not scar. Your arms were red, throbbing, and in pain but you didn't care how imperfect you were.

You walked into school without a hoodie and wearing a shirt with barely any sleeves and short shorts to reveal all your skin, all your self harm, and all your wounds. It had only been a day of frustration, but it's felt like an eternity in hell and you needed to make it stop.

You walked into class being the first one there, as always. History was your favorite subject, but now it made you dread because of the one perfectionist who ruined your life on middle school. Thenredheaded flawless boy who used to have held your heart captive. The one who caused you to do this To your own body. Tsubaki. Luckily the next person was him and not the teacher.

Tsubaki walked in the rooms and caught eyes on your pale white skin stained with brown and red bloody scars all over. Your legs, your arms, your chest, even on your forehead. You cut Andy hit yourself everywhere you could in middle school, self abusing yourself.

"(Your name)... what did you do?"

His voice was faint and frightful, you ahd a good fifteen minutes before class even began. Maybe you could get some common sense inside that thick skull of his.

"More like what did you do."

He took a step back and you took one forward, cornering him to where you were sitting yesterday whioemworkign on the project.

"I woudl never do such a thing to you!"

You couldn't help but cackle in a monotone deep voice. You look at the cuts you mademoiselle just last night, you squeezed it and a to y bit of blood came out. It looked the same shade of red as his hair.

"Of course you wouldn't. But you would cause it."

He gulped and you saw it. Everyhting came pouring out and the teacher just so happened to walk on at this very moment, but he stood silent and still, watching thsinplay out and was awestruck at how many scars you could fit on one human body, without even revealing the whole thing.

"Middle school. Sixth grade."

You thought this would jog his memory, but his eyes searched yours for answers. Fine, if he wanted answers, you would give him answers. He pressed his tall self against the wall as much as possibly but your small figure was not going anywhere.

"I was being petty used around and teased, as normal. I had no friends, nobody except for one person. One little boy who meant the entire world to me. The one boy who was all o bought and cared about. You want to guess who the boy was?"

He didn't answer, he just stared into your own eyes. He was so full of fear he couldn't speak. But you were so full of vengeance that you couldn't stop yourself from getting this all off of your chest.

"It. Was you. So when you started ignoring me, my heart already broke. I tried to talk to you. Oh how I had begged and pleased and needed to see you. But I never could catch you until one time. You told me straight to my face that you disliked me for my imperfection. I believe your exact words were 'you have too many Informalities, I would like it if you kept your distance. Forever.' And after your little confrontation, I was bullied more until no tomorrow and you did nothing! You let me become subjected to the horrible kids of middle school! You drove me into my own depression and anxiety I have today! You forced me to be alone and Tofind mynonly relief in cutting my own flesh and makign myself more miserable than I already was! It was all. Your. Fault!"

You screamed in his face then fell you your knees And turned around, sobbing into your almost bare arms. You hugged your knees and your salt your tears burned against the wounds and scars over your limbs and chest. It hurt, it always did. The teacher did nothing, just watching in utter shock along with the students who arrived jsut halfway through And awestruck at how much you kept in. Some of the kids there, like Niles, Saizo, And Beruka, We're then ones who tormented you way back then. But in reality it wasn't too far from now. Only about three or four years of mental trauma And heartache. You only had the rest of your life to go.

You kept sobbing and Tsubaki did nothing, he had no idea what to do. He just looked at the other side for help who just shrugged or had no response to his pleading glance. Camilla gave him a gesture and mouthed the words 'comfort her' to Tsubaki and he nodded. He sat down next To You with arms wrapped around you.

"(Your name)..."

You snapped away from his touch.

"DONT YOU TOUCH ME!!! DONT YOU DARE TOUCH ME!!!!"

You slid as far back and away from him as possible, ramming your back into the teacher's desk. The collision hit and reopened a large scab on your back causing you to cry in pain and blood To soak the small, light colored shirt. You didn't want Tsubaki to hurt you even more than he had, you didn't want him near you to make you fall in love and break your heart again. Tsubaki ruined your life. He just stared at you as you began to cray again, blood dripping down your back.

The students all internally panicked and the teacher led the meeting outside, leaving you alone with the worst person in the history of people.

"(Your name).... I think you and I both know I didn't mean what I said."

"Oh, so you admit you were just keeping your perfect reputation flawless by not hanging out with thrash like me! Okay! Would you prefer it if I just dissapear then?! HUH!?"

You stood up and winced in pain. Tsubaki jolted at his feet and tried to help you but you snapped him away. It all hurt oh so much. Alsmost too much to bare. You walk over to your bag as fast as you could and scavenged for a pair of scissors. Perfect. Tusbaki's eyes went wide when he saw the double blade.

"(Your name)! Don't do it, please!"

You nodded your head, tears spilling along woth blood onto the ground. You could end your pain once and for all, why didn't you do this sooner? Then maybe you woudl feel like this. Maybe you wouldn't know how little he thought of you or how you were infirior or dirt beneath everybody's feet or how awful of a person you were. You flipped the scissors and placed it over your chest, ready to Impale.

But you couldn't.

You had a hand where your scissors once were and something warm connecting to your lips. You had no idea where the scissors went nor what was going on. Tears kept flooding out of your eyes as your mind slowly processes what is going on. You finally come up wo5 the impossible conclusion what was happening.

Tsubaki was kissing you.

The person you hated because of his betrayal, the person who thought you were so infirior, the person who had to be perfect in every way, had his lips locked with yours. You tried to escape and not make him deal with the torment of kissing you, the most imperfect and flawful person on the entire universe, but his other hand was tangled in your hair and forcing you to stay in the kiss. There was no way he wanted this. There was no way eh wanted you to kiss him. He just was doing this for his reputation. His flawless reputation. He woudl never kiss trash liek you otherwise, but woudlnt this hurt him more than help him?

He let you go, but jus by the lips. He was breathing heavily and you were still crying. He took the wind out of your lungs making you mute for a short amount of time.

"(Your name), I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Tears were flowing out of his eyes too. You couldn't believe it. The flawless, perfect, handsome god of perfection from above was crying in front of garbage like you who deserved to die. At least that is what you thought.

"I never thought I would ever cause this. I am so very, incredibly, deeply sorry!"

He was showing actual emotion. The redhead was really letting tears spill From his face. You were in agony. You still loved him deep down, you really did. You just put on a face of hatred because of what he did to you. But he was actually apologizing. He was really sorry. He kissed you.

You felt your arms go limp as he leaned in towards you again, kissing you passionately.

You didn't have history class that day.