NIGHT ONE
What am I doing with my life honestly? I'm laying here in my bunk, in love with my best friend, and no one knows.
Everyone still thinks I love Hannah except for Hannah herself. We were together for months before I met Harry, when I broke up with her 2 days ago I didn't even know that it would be for someone else. I just thought I didn't like her anymore. Hannah is one of my best friends and she is amazing, quite frankly I wish I loved her. Everything would be a hell of a lot easier. But of course I can't, I have to be in love with Harry. I can't believe I'm in love with Harry.
Can it be called love if you have only known someone a couple of months? This must be love, I've never felt this way before. When I look at him I see a star. He makes me smile and he makes me angry, no one gets under my skin like him. He is so beautiful. How am I just realizing this?
He's also a guy though. I'm gay. How am I gay. The only guy I've ever had feelings for or even have thought is genuinely attractive is Harry. I'm so confused. Harry calls himself pansexual? Maybe that's what I am. He always says, "I'll love who I love, who cares if they're a male or a female?"
He's here with me right now, sleeping in the bed below me.
I climb out of my bed and crawl into his. He isn't alarmed, he just shuffles and wraps an arm around me. This isn't something new so I didn't expect him to ask me why I'm here, I knew he would just cuddle me. That's why I love him.
Oh my god. What the hell am I going to do.