The Broken Porcelain Doll

Annabeth's P.O.V Chapter 1: Alexithymia

Alexithymia: An inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner.

Sunshine came all too soon. Turning it into another sleepless night. My clock read 6:32 but I felt like it was just another start of another equally boring and average day. The crispy white ceiling with the elaborate crystal chandelier that caught the morning rays dazzled my eyes. And the bright white intricate pattern of the crown molding drove me to an intense staring competition. But most of all, I laid in the soft creamy comfort of the bed, and just thought. All of me desperately wished for a different life. Trying desperately to hope for a day when I would wake up and be with a different family. I think that my dream will be the closest I will ever get to being a normal teenager.

Thoughts of another life are what all they'll ever be. I am dreaming of a life that can't be. There's no sense dwelling on things that will never happen. As soon as that clock turns to seven, I will have to go back to the life I live everyday. Back to the mask and portrays. And as always, contemplating life changes the clock to seven all too soon. Changing me into Annabeth Chase instead of just Annabeth.

I stared at my porcelain arms. I know I had to begin the day, I couldn't stay in bed like I desperately wanted. What I wanted to do was run into the woods and this time, not come back to anyone in this house or the people in my life. I sighed and lifted myself off the bed and started making my way to the bathroom. The maid came in delivering what my breakfast. I couldn't fake a smile to her. Not today. Not when I was turning 18. Not when I was still going to be treated as a child.

A giant mirror stood in front of me. And my reflection seemed foreign and unnatural. Startling stormy eyes looked back at me. That's always what set me off. I was supposed to be very fragile and picture perfect. But my eye's always reminded me of my dreams. The thought that I could be anything but perfect. That I could be determined and fight my way out. That's always what made me go through with anything. It's the only thing that anchored me into believing that I was strong enough to say silent and obedient.

The pale face that so clearly would look doll like if it weren't for the obvious shattered grey eyes looking back at me. My blonde hair I has put up last night looked messy. I wanted to keep it, but I knew I couldn't. I released my hair to let it cascade down to my waist. This girl I look through the mirror every day was this stranger that I stared at so rudely every morning.

My princess curls only added to the effect of being perfect. The effect my parents desired. A perfect daughter to make up their defective marriage. To show the world, we're perfect because we have this perfect daughter. That's all I have ever been. An object to be presented by and carried around like a trophy.

I had to be perfect, because I didn't have any other reason then to be perfect. And this is why I choose to wear a black flowy dress instead of jeans. Jeans and a t-shirt I really wanted to wear. But I didn't. And just like that, I was Annabeth chase.

I walked right past my breakfast and out my room. My oversized phone had stayed in my backpack all night just like it always did. Only had one text had been sent to my phone, Luke. "I'm waiting outside. Hurry up." I sighed. He's been my boyfriend for nearly four years and still, he didn't remember my birthday. "Of course he didn't," I thought. After all, it's my parents he tries to please. Not me. It's my parents who made me go out with him. It's my parents that make me stay with him despite every bone my body telling me to get away from him.

My parents were sitting down at the living room when I passed them. I had walked down the stair at a snail's pace to annoy Luke but one glance at my parents and I instantly winced. Knowing that I would rather deal with him. They saw me before I knew they saw me. I couldn't talk to them because I knew already what they were going to say. I ran away from them with a sudden jolt of courage. I opened the door and left before they could even open their mouths. I glaced at the red sports car. I slowly walked towards it and opened the door. I hesitated a little before climbing in.