Fucked up

Part 1

Every so often, I'll be doing something, then randomly get carried away. One example with this is relationships. When I meet someone new, and they start off by being really friendly, I might think that they are flirting with me. This is upsetting obviously because I begin to pursue something that is not there. I will get attached easily, and when something goes wrong, and I've made that one person my focus, I don't have anyone to talk to, because of my bad habit of shutting others out. When I meet someone new, I focus mainly on them. I lose touch a little bit with past friends, and start to make the new person a priority. There's this girl I met, that I really like, and because of my autism, I got attached. I didn't want to get attached. I wanted to meet someone new and just be there with her. I pursue something that isn't really all that much there. I know there's two sides to the story, but this is how I feel. She is amazing and I feel a very strong loving emotion towards her, and I just don't want her to leave. She hates the school that we both go to, which I don't blame her, but the only reason I like going is because of her. I know I come on a little bit strong, but that's all that I know. I just try so hard to make them not leave that I'll do almost anything. I never regret for a second anything that I've done with her, but I feel so guilty that I got her sick. Sick of me, and my constant love and affection. Sick of my constant flirting. And she's also really sick. I feel that I caused her so much stress that her body reacted negatively to the stress and created a sickness. The doctors might not know what's going on with her, but I think I do. Stress. I am sorry I got you sick. I don't know why I'm writing this story, I just wanted to because you write stories and I thought it would impress you if I wrote one too. I hope you like this story even though it really isn't good at all and isn't even a story. It's just facts. This is the fucked up life I'm forced to live. This is one of the many reasons I'm fucked up.