*trigger warning*
Jaedens POV
I sit in my room crying, hoping my family can't hear me. I try my best to muffle the sobs with my pillow as I continue. I've been feeling horrible recently, like in worthless. I've recently come to accept the fact that I'm gay. I'm too scared to tell my family, or the rest of the group (cast). I quietly walk to the bathroom, I just need some relief. I open the drawer and pull out the box of razors my dad has for shaving. I make a few quick cuts, before getting a notification on my phone. I glance over to see Wyatt's name, he sent me a text.
Wyatt: coming over, hope you don't mind. Be there in 5 minutes.
Shitshitshitshitshitshit
I hurry and put a bandage on the cuts before running to my sisters room. "I need you me concealer." I say. "Did you seriously do that again? Dam it jae you need to stop." She says handing it to me. "I know." I say as I exit the room. I hurry and try to cover the cuts, but it's hard because they're still sort of bleeding.while in still struggling wth the makeup, the door opens. Panicking, I throw the concealer across the room, with it landing in the floor, next to the laundry basket. I see Wyatt standing in the doorway. "What was that?" What asks walking towards the concealer. "N-Nothing." God I'm starting to stutter like my character (bill). He picks up the concealer, confused. "Why do you need this?" He asks. "No reason." I say, in total panic mode. "He needs it to over up his cuts." My sister yells down the hallway. "What the hell? Mind your own damn business, Julie!" I yell. I flip my arms over to where he can't see them. "What cuts?" Wyatt asks, dropping the concealer on the floor. "Nothing." I say, feeling tears starting to well up in my eyes. "Jaeden, show me." Wyatt demands. "No." I say with tear sliding down my cheek. Wyatt sits in the bed. "Jae, talk to me." He says. I stay quiet with my head low. He grabs my arm and flips it over, showing the sloppy makeup job over still bleeding cuts. He has a tear going down his cheek too. "Why?" Is all he says. "I-I can't tell you." "Jae listen to me, if you don't tell me, this might happen again. And next time, I won't be here to help you." He says while standing up. He begins to walk out of my room. "I'm gay." I whisper, barely audible. "What?" Wyatt asks, not hearing what I said. " I said I'm gay!" I yell at the top of my lungs. Wyatt stops, and just looks at me. "I'm sorry." I whisper. I fall to the floor, sobbing. Wyatt runs over to me, and hugs me. I sob into his shoulder as he tells me everything will be alright. "Shhhh" Wyatt says, rocking me. "It's ok. You're okay." "What the hell did I just hear?" Julie says as she stands in my doorway. I freeze. "Please don't tell mom and dad." I say. "Oh don't worry, they probably already heard." She says while walking away.
*that night*
We're all sitting around the table, me and Julie silent. I can't tell if my parents heard, but they're also being silent. About halfway through dinner my mom says, "Julie, would you excuse us please?" Julie looks at me, then heads to her room. "So Jaeden." My dad says. "We heard some things from upstairs today." I feel both sets of eyes on me, even though I had my head down, avoiding eye contact. "You wanna tell us what exactly we heard?" He says. I feel a tear slip down my face. I look up, and there are tears flowing down my moms face while my dad is just staring. "No." I reply, my voice shaky. "What?" He says. "I don't wanna talk about it." I say looking away from his stare. "Tell is what you said!" He yells, slamming his fist on the table. "IM GAY!" I scream, louder than I did before, loud enough for the neighbors to hear, not exaggerating. "That's all I wanted to hear. Go to your room." I run up the stairs sobbing. My sister meets me at the top and hugs me, holds me so tight I could barely breath. We go into my room and I just sob. The second time someone has held me while I cry today. I honestly don't know how much more I can take of this place. It's like hell, but so, so much worse.
