Devil In Me (Jack Kline/Supernatural)

5. Passing the Past

I woke up, Jack no longer by my side. I grumbled and rubbed my eyes, carefully stepping from his bed, and then from his room. I entered my own room gathered my morning supplies to get ready for the day.

The shower pressure in the bunker was absolutely wonderful. I loved feeling the heated water drip down my skin. Nothing felt better than a warm shower.

Stepping from my room, now fully clothed and ready to go for the day, I found my way to the war room. Sam sat there, a book in his hands and a laptop in front of him.

"Where's Dean?" I asked, stepping around him and looping my arms around his shoulders. I rested my chin against one of his shoulders and leaned my head against his.

I snorted at what was shown on screen. Jack was somewhere in the bunker, sitting at a table, looking fiercely concentrated.

"You got the poor thing on a baby monitor?" I joked.

Sam rolled his eyes. "He's practicing his powers."

"I can see that." I snorted sarcastically. If the kid was in a bathroom, I'd swear he was constipated.

"Dean left on a hunt." The younger Winchester told me, shaking me off of him.

I nodded, looking around the room. "Too bad, I'm starving."

"Go get yourself something to eat. Bring something back for Jack and I?" Sam asked, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Sure. Watch him, though. He's damaged." I told him, pointing my finger at the screen. I realized he wasn't in view of the camera. "Also, he's gone."

Sam looked at the computer and immediately jumped up. He rushed around, screaming the nephilim's name. I chuckled as I left the bunker, knowing fully well the kid didn't leave and was probably hiding in the shadows. I did that, too, after I first became human.

"Lapis?! Where are you?!" Sam called, his voice booming. I flinched, cowering even more in my little corner of darkness.

I hated the dark, even as a demon, but I didn't want to be in the light. I didn't deserve to be in the light.

"Lapis, it's okay! No ones gonna hurt you! I'm here!" Sam called, stopping in front of me. He couldn't see me yet, but soon enough he would.

As if I was praying and God actually answered, which was all bullshit, Sam turned to me. He smiled softly as he let out a sigh of relief and knelt down in front of me.

"It's okay. You're safe." He reassured me.

"I shouldn't be. I deserve to be killed." I hissed, my throat raw from the crying and screaming I had done before Sam had found me.

"What? Of course you do! We've been over this, sweetheart. You deserve life just as much as Dean or I do." He told me sincerely.

I shook my head. "No I don't."

"Has there ever been a demon that wanted to be human? That has actually gone through the transformation? No. Just you. You're special." Sam slowly reached a hand out to me. I carefully crawled from my hole and snuggled into his side.

I felt like a wounded child. Why was I acting like such a baby? Was it because I hadn't had a good childhood? Was it because I desperately longed for some human affection? Whatever it was, I hated feeling so weak and vulnerable.

No... That's a lie. This was a new feeling. It was scary, but I didn't hate it. I enjoyed it. For once in my entire existence, I was weak. I was vulnerable. I needed someone else.

For once, I was human.

I entered the bunker after stopping to get food. The trip was quick and boring, and I found myself yearning for Cas. Normally he would come grocery shopping with me if the boys were busy. Otherwise, Sam would go.

"Lapis? That you?" Sam called, entering the war room with Jack at his heels.

"Yup! Brought food!" I replied as I descended the stairs to them. I placed the bags of food on the table and huffed.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Sam asked, pulling me into a different room. I frowned and glanced at Jack, watching as he curiously looked into the bags of food.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest like I tended to d when dealing with one of the boys.

"He's worried he's evil. Dean has gotten into the poor kid's head too much. I told him about my past... With the powers... Not all of it, but enough to show him he's not alone. I think you should do the same. I think you'd both benefit from it." Sam said, looking at me with that soft look of his.

I frowned and looked down at my feet. "Would he really benefit from it though? Would I?"

"You don't know until you try." The younger Winchester patted my shoulder and walked back to the war room, grabbing his food. He walked away into his room, leaving Jack and I alone.

"Hey Jack?" I asked as I stepped up next to him. I grabbed a fry from the bag. "Sam told me he told you about his past and knowing how you feel."

Jack nodded. He didn't say anything, so I didn't either. I munched on a few fries before finding the courage to talk about my past.

"I was a demon." I blurted, watching as Jack looked at me in shock. I gulped and picked at a loose thread on my shirt sleeve. "My mother... She was human. As human as it got. But she couldn't have kids. So she made a deal with Crowley... I was the product. Born full demon, except I had human feelings. I was the most human demon there was.

"I found Sam and Dean and asked them to help me. Sam, of course, agreed. Dean... he and my dad began working together and Sam had no choice but to free me of my demonic abilities. It worked, and I was so thankful. I was human. I was finally what I was meant to be.

"When I was a demon, I used my powers... for evil. And then I met the boys and Cas. I tried to follow dad's orders but it became so hard. I became friends with the enemy, the Winchesters and their angel, and here I am today." I explained, feeling tears well on my eyes.

"You.... You know what it's like..." He said, his voice Clogged with emotion.

I nodded, smiling a little. "Dad sacrificed himself for us... To keep your dad away from us and from you. We didn't always get along but I... I miss him."

I wiped away a tear that began to fall. I grabbed my food and headed to my room. Jack didn't need to see this. He had enough to deal with.

I felt an arm wrap around me and I stopped, almost dropping the food in my hands.

"I'm sorry." Jack whispered, pulling his arm away.

"Me too..." I mumbled, closing my eyes to avoid more tears falling.

"Thank you.... for telling me that." He told me. He meant it, too.

"You're welcome." I replied, my body rigid. I needed to go and be away from all of this.

Jack moved around me and went to his room. I went to my own, abandoning my food. I wasn't hungry anymore, and I doubted Jack was, either.

Hopefully Sam was right. Hopefully we would benefit from that. We needed it.