Twisted Story of My Life

Chapter Twenty Four

I woke up late in the afternoon. As soon as I opened my eyes I was staring straight to those beautiful brown eyes I love to look at all the time. Calix's eyes are so expressive and just his look conquers my heart.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked as I tried to sit.

He gently pulled me back beside him and he smiled. "I was watching you sleep. I am memorizing every bit of you. Because tomorrow when we get back in the Philippines, I might be nothing more than a memory. A fling in Korea," He said pouting. His eyes seem really sad. I guess we have the same fear or his might be worse as I am the one with the extra baggage. I can always run back to the real father of this child.

I touched his face," I will never forget your kindness and sweetness. You were with me when I learned one of the greatest yet scariest news in my life. Let us take things slow though. You can give me your number and I'll give you mine. Let us keep in touch."

He came near me and I can feel his warm breath on my lips as he spoke, "But there is no assurance that you would fall in love with me and that you would choose me. That is the scariest."

I kissed him lightly on the lips and said, "I would love to love you back. I hope you felt that when we made love. It is so easy to fall in love with you. You got the face and the heart. But I am scared that it might be wrong. I might be wrong for you. We might be wrong for each other. We might just be lost souls trying to find comfort from each other because that is only what we have here. We just have each other in this unfamiliar place. But no words can ever describe how you made me feel and I will forever be thankful to you."

He touched my cheeks with both hands then hugged me tightly as he brushed his lips against mine. I felt hot tears on my cheeks but I am sure that they are not mine. My heart is crushed. I am happy that he seems to really love me but I am sad that I cannot love him the same way yet. Inasmuch as I would want to just go with the flow (who am I to decline such sweet love after all?) I am held back with the fear of making the same mistake. That mistake of falling in love with the wrong one. Besides, I want to think of my baby first. Though at the back of my mind I also know that my baby would be happier with someone to call a father. How could I conquer the world now? I can't even conquer my own thoughts and feelings. I cannot even conquer and put myself together. I hugged Calix tightly. I know in my heart that I don't want him to let go of me but my mind tells me that I should not lead him on or be led on by this unsure coming together. For all we know, he might be right. This might just be a fling.

"Maybe you find it hard to believe that you have just met me and I suddenly want to be a part of your life forever. I feel that too. At first I thought it was weird. How can I feel so strongly for someone I just met? And why do I want to be a father of a child that is not mine? When I get back in the Philippines there are a lot of girls waiting for me to even just raise my eyebrows at them. Don't get me wrong. My point here is that if I just want to play, I can get a lot of play things elsewhere. But I don't want that. As I have said I am done with playing. I want you. I love you. I need to be a part of your life and I definitely want you to be a part of mine. When I see you cry a part of me dies. It pains me seeing you sad and unsure of what to do next. But when I see you smile I feel an unexplainable joy deep inside that's why I always want to make things better for you. I am the happiest when you are happy. And those feelings made me realize that we are as one. We really should be together. Only if you let us be together," He said then he sighed.

I was speechless. How can someone be so sincere and handsome at the same time? Are not all handsome guys jerks? Well, Zeke is handsome and is a big jerk.

"You don't need to say anything now. Let us eat in a while so that we can rest early. I will pack your stuff. Don't tire yourself," He said then kissed me on the forehead before he stood up to get ready for dinner. He is so sensitive too. Hmm... Is this a love worth fighting for? I just nodded and also started moving.

We had dinner at the hotel restaurant. He tried to make the night light for us. He told me funny stories about his college and high school days. We enjoyed the food and we laughed a lot. Our last night together at Korea was fun.

After dinner we went back to our room. As he said earlier, he stuffed my belongings in my luggage. Before going to sleep we hugged and kissed. I tossed and turned. I could not find sleep. I am excited to see my family again but quite scared how they would take my news. I am a bit sad that I might not be able to see Calix again when we separate tomorrow. Then again, I would really need the time and space to sort things out. As I turned I saw him lying on his bed looking at me. When he saw that I was still awake he got up and went near me. He bent down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good night, babe. Sleep now. I love you," He whispered to my ear. I now have another reason not to fall asleep tonight. My heart is pounding so loud. So loud that he might even hear it. Maybe the neighboring rooms can also hear it.