The Only One Who's Holy (Hayley Williams x Lynn Gunn)

4. Debts

If Jenna could tone down the fucking romance just a little, I would greatly appreciate it.

I stared at the scene in front of me, my girlfriend cuddling up to me on the sofa, candles, some boring romance movie that I've barely been watching and the inevitable fear of having to screw a girl I don't even like and then dumping her the next day.

I'm such a shitty person.

"Ugh that was so good!" Jenna exclaimed, making me aware of the credits that had just appeared on the screen.

"I loved it." I smiled, looking into her eyes.

Before I could make some excuse about being tired or late for mariachi band practice, she began to passionately kiss me, moving her hands all over me, waiting for me to react.

Why wasn't I enjoying this? Normally this kind of thing would be the highlight of my week (okay, fine- day) but now I wanted nothing more than to just go to bed ,and not in the way Jenna would be imagining.

I lazily kissed back, trying to suggest that I wasn't up for it tonight, but she didn't get the message.

"God, Hayley." She moaned through my lips, pulling back to take her shirt off, revealing a black Lacey bra that complimented her tan skin. She looked stunning. But I still felt weak.

Why couldn't I let the word 'no' escape from my mouth?

"Jenna I-" I began, getting cut off by her hand over my mouth.

"Shhh, don't speak." She ordered lustfully, attempting to remove my shirt.

"wait." I said abruptly, moving away from her.

I looked at her disappointed face, hating myself just a little bit more than I did yesterday.

"What's wrong, Hayles?"

Oh don't fucking nickname me.

"Sorry baby, I'm just so tired right now, you think we could pick this up some other time?" I took a hold of her hand as I spoke, trying to avoid the possibility of making her mad.

"But why not now?" She whined. "I bought a movie for us to watch! And the candles and everything..."

"I know but-"

"And earlier you said you were excited to come over." She added.

Just because I wanted to earlier doesn't mean I wanted to now I wanted to say.

And just because you bought a movie and some cheap-ass candles doesn't mean I owe you anything I wanted to say.

But you know what I did say?

"Yeah, you're right, baby, I'm sorry," I sadly admitted, but she didn't hear my tones of sadness, and if she did they were completely ignored.

I let her take my shirt off and continue to run her cold hands all over my body.

I didn't want this.

But I don't think she cared.