Don’t Give Up
“Emilie, you’re worthless.”
“You’ll never be anything more in life then a worm.”
“Don’t you see? You’re all alone in this world. No one wants anything to do with you. Why are you even still here?”
Yeah. that’s what i have to deal with every day of my life. My name’s Emilie Richardson, well to be honest i don’t even know if i should still be calling myself a richardson anymore. My dad disowned me when i was 10 because i started to cut myself. He didn’t understand me like mom did. Even though mom didn’t completely understand what i was going through at the time, she was still there for me, not like dad. Dad just packed up his things and left because he couldn’t deal with my problems, even when he was a problem himself too.
I live on the outskirts of San Diego with just my mom. I admit i do sometimes miss dad, but i’d much rather have things the way they are right now then how they were when he was here. My hair is a deep blood red color that runs down to my mid-back with jagged ends and some occasional black or purple here and there. Fortunately, i have blue eyes just like my grandpa James, I guess the whole blue eyes trait missed a generation. Mom has dark brown hair almost like black with blonde highlights that go up to her shoulders. Brown eyes the color of chocolate. I go to school at Oceanside High School, well for now. Barley 14, which kind of sucks. Mom says she wants to put me in home studies because of Jack, Caren, and Rebecca. Honestly, i’m all for it. Those three people make my life a living nightmare! Because of them, i sometimes wonder why i’ve been able to come this far in life…
I’ve been bullied for as long as i’ve been in school and everybody knows this. I honestly don’t know why i get bullied so much, when i’ve done nothing at all to deserve this. Maybe it’s because i’m different. Maybe because i’m not afraid to be who i really am instead of hide it. Mom says they’re just afraid that someone like me can finally change the world that they live in and they’re scared of that so they try to cover it up by being mean, and you know what? I kind of believe her. In my mind, it’s all of them that are different. I am who I am, I can't change that, even if i wanted to. It’s not my fault that guys with piercings or tattoos are way hotter then the guys with six packs, or loud screamo music is better than ugly guys saying the same thing over and over and over again. I’d rather be the way i am than be the way they are. Well i better go to sleep now i have school tomorrow, great.
Chapter 2
BEEEEP…. BEEEEEP…. BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! Great way to wake up, if you’re a heavy sleeper, which i’m not! I opened my black with paint splashed all over the drawers and pull out a simple black shirt then some purple and black pants. Now comes my favorite part of getting ready, my hair. I grab the comb that is specifically made for teasing from the counter and let my hand go crazy. All finished, I meet my mom downstairs for a quick breakfast meal of a banana and some milk. Gross, I hate milk. I could drink almost anything, except milk.
We both walk out the door and get into the red little honda car, the one I picked out myself. On the way we do our usual routine, play some suicide silence, then some bob marley, then some eminem-the only rapper that i actually like. We pass by the church and mom forces, literally forces me to do the cross, even though I don’t believe in him. We pass by some stores and buildings with no name on them, then the misery begins. School. Just the sight of it makes me want to bundle up and cry, but i’m not going to give them what they want.
“Emilie?”
“Yeah, mom what is it?”
“Stay strong honey, I love you”
