When I'm never needed I feel like I'm bleeding. No ever ask me how are you doing, because I'm always feeling down there ain't no way back up, not from all the things I fucked up. My life my decisions. You wanna see my point I got the scars the prove it. Life isn't right unless you have a knife. Why am I always feeling like I'm a screw up, always making things worse instead of better. People ask me why I always wear a sweatshirt.
It's because I'm always hiding my arms so no one can see what the damage is that they've done to me. Do they even care about some quiet kid in the back always with his head down no. They don't because they're living in their own world not worrying about a thing. What they don't see is the kid in the back crying because his bullies knock him down without anyone to hold him so he can get up and fight back. There I said it. That's my life
Nothing seems to fix what you're feeling. They say suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem, they may be right or wrong who knows. Maybe it's a permanent solution for some people. Teenagers now think one little thing gets them depressed like you didn't buy this in time and they're automatically "depressed". NO that's not depression, losing a family member is depression, having your heart broken is depression, being bullied because you're different is depression. Not getting the limited edition of a drink, that's not depression. Yeah you may be sad, but it will come back a family member or friend won't. Drinking won't do anything it just numbs the pain trust me I've done it before. Depression is a serious problem in the world, no one can stop it. It just sits there waiting for its next victim. It's a demon weighing you down, it's eating away at you right now. There's nothing you can do. It sits there on your shoulders. You ever just get so scared that you start to stress over it and it doesn't seem to go away.. that's how I feel. Then you end up sitting in the dark thinking, pondering that you want to leave the earth but you also think whose going to miss you. When a person who is about to jump off a bridge or hang themselves, they think about their life before they commit. They think about what happened that made them like this. Trying to figure out who did what and why they did it, but in the end no one would notice that you are gone. No one is going to say "where's that kid who sat in the back", because no one cares.
