who knew.

getting ready to school

I started rolling around my bed hearing the loud annoying alrm telling my mind I just didn't feel like getting ready or even going to school...but my heart told me something good is about to happen today at school but I had trouble believe it because, nothing good ever happens to me...I said to my self will you can make this day better but that's what I try everyday, I stood up but as fast as I stood up a really bad dizziness hit me I held the bed next to me to stop the dizziness then waited another moment to settle it in then I opened my eyes thinking about what could go wrong today? Will I didn't think it all through yet but then I took a step up to go to the bathroom to wash my face and you know do my thing, then I opened the bathroom door then stepped in the bathroom and looked at my messed up hair then opened the cold water to wash my face then I put my 2 hands under the water to feel alive kinda, I took a scope of water then splashed it against my face feeling awake for a second then opened my eyes and went to use the bathroom and then I took my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on the tip and washed my mouth with it, for another second i took my hair brush and brushed my hair against my face to not show how much I cried yesterday but that didn't help it still showed..... after feeling bad and depressed I opened the bathroom to go to my closet to get some clothes but all I see is dark clothes and red but it didn't matter to me so I put on all black long shirt shoe's and leggings then took my phone and looked through it in till it was 7:00 A.m then I took my backpack and didn't even try to eat breakfast because of my eating disorder.