suicide notes

Hannah.

I ran, my eyes dripping with tears as my heart ached. I kept running. I couldn't stop. I finally reached the house I was looking for, then burst through the door. "Hannah!" I screamed running upstairs, the sound of running water got closer and closer. I stepped into the bathroom and stared wide eyed. I dropped to my knees as water flooded my eyes and the floor. My white jeans now turning red. I examined the area seeing three empty pill bottles and a bloody razor blade. She definitely was going to make sure this killed her, and it did. I crawled over, the redness staining my hands. I lifted her from the water and onto the floor. I held her head in my hands, against my chest. "Please please be alive. Please." I cried out. I heard the door slam and then I heard running. Another person stepped into the bathroom. "No no no no no my baby girl! No!" Hannah's mom dropped beside me. "Sam what happened?!" she screamed. "I-I don't know.." I cried. Her mom jumped up and ran to a phone, where she called an ambulance. I sat there staring at her. Wondering, wondering what the heck happened. What made her do this. Why she did it. I glanced at her wrist and the site shocked me. Old and new scars everywhere on them. Then I looked at her left wrist in cuts was the word 'sorry'. I couldn't breathe. This had to be a dream. This is a dream. It has to be. This isn't real! This isn't! No way!

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2 months later

I woke up, screaming. Another nightmare. Here lately nightmares are the only thing been waking me up. I looked at the picture of Hannah's smiling face and gently smiled. I never knew such pain was real. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like this is real. I sometimes can't accept that she is dead. I actually tried something once, I regretted it though because I didn't want to end up dead the same way she did. Today I was finally going to go to her room, a place I have been many times but now im scared. I need to find clues. I got out of bed and got dressed, then headed to the house I would be visiting. Her mom greeted me and I went to Hannah's room. I walked in and almost cried, its exactly how I last seen it. I decided to check an obvious place she would leave something for me to find. She knew I would look there because that's where we kept all of our best friend things. I walked to her closet, searched for the black and silver box, then grabbed it. I took it over to her bed and unlocked it with the key on a necklace she had given to me when we were six. I dug through the papers, movie tickets, cards, receipts, necklaces, etc until I got to the bottom of the box. A letter that was folded in half with my name on it. I opened it and started reading:

Hi, Sam. I miss you! I don't know how long it took you to find this but im glad you did. Im really sorry, like really really sorry. I hope you have forgave me by now. If not please do. Listen you're my best friend in this entire world. Sam, I love you so much. Well actually now that im dead I might as well say it, I was in love with you. That's reason number 1, I was in love with someone that would never love me back. No your name wasnt on my suicide note cause, honestly, I would've done this a long time ago if it want for you.(my suicide note can be found in the top drawer of my dresser.) It just got to be so much. I am really sorry. To find the next few reasons find the other notes from the clues I give you. We always wanted to go on an adventure, right? Here it is. Find out why I am dead. Well I love you, good bye..... Forever.

                                   -Hannah Ratliff

(1st clue, the place we planned the adventures that we never went on.)

By the time I was done reading the note I was in tears. I was one of the reasons she did this? I suck! I decided to walk over to the dresser and open the top drawer. I found a piece of paper and picked it up. I read it: Hey, whomever is reading this. I want to say, sorry. Its just everything got too much and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I wish I couldve worked up enough courage to talk to you guys about this but I couldn't. I just wish I couldve hung in there a little longer for mom and Sam. But no need in missing me. Im fine. How many times did you guys fall for that one? Yeah, sorry. But goodbye.... Forever.....

                                   -H.R.

That's when my eyes opened, for real this time. She is actually dead. Time to start that adventure, I guess. I walked out of the house, leaving the suicide note on Hannah's bed. I went out of the backyard and started walking. I walked and walked into the deep woods. I contused until I seen it. I looked up and smiled. Destination one. Complete.

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There it is.. First chapter...
Word count:913