_Blank_: A Story Born From Mad Libs

Chapter 1: Adventure Awaits

A long time ago (or not a very long time ago, you can't really compare the time between separate universes, as it would be logically impossible to pinpoint due to the fact that they have completely different timelines. The best we can do is compare the time since the birth of the universe. In that case, the universes are about a couple billion years off. But is a billion years or two really that much of a difference? I mean, in comparison to other universes, it's not that far off. Unless the Multiverse Theory is correct, which would mean that there are many, many universes or iterations of the same universes that aren't too far off from each other. But nonetheless, in conclusion, it was indeed a long time ago.), in a vast land known only as Burger King, an evil lord named Jafar the Funky ruled with an iron potato. He and his cloned Shrek minions terrorized the Trump Kingdom of Trumptopia, along with the rest of the lands. Emperor Trump sent forth four skilled painters to deal with the ever-increasing threat of the evil decepticon, Jafar.

These brave men included: Constantine Bubblez, a moist adventurer with knack for slithering. Hitler Stingy, a talented musician who has an immense drinking issue. Sam Fweebs, a cold warlock with an interesting collection of weeaboos back at home. Romulus Jenkins, a doctor, whose important expertise in walking provides great aid, most particularly around the local Panda Express. And lastly there is Jason Bourne, the skilled and experienced, yet young adventurer in which Emperor Trump himself believed to be the perfect person to help the four achieve their goal. He will guide our travelers in order to find the four holy weapons and finally put an end to Jafar the Funky's evil reign.

The group rests at Trump's forty-seventh lake house, preparing themselves for the long journey that awaits them. They awaken the next morning, reinvigorated, and set off for the Mountain of Incompetence to find the first holy weapon, the legendary Sword of Bricks.

What perils await them?

"The sword of bricks?" Constantine inquires to Jason as they start walk into a woodland trail with small magenta unicycle trees on both sides of them. A pleasant zephyr breezes by them as they step onto the first crispy leaves. "Pardon my asking, but why the hell is it called that? That sounds kinda retarded."

"It's called that because it's made of bricks. What else do you want?" says Jason.

"Sound's pretty dank," remarks Hitler. "I'm down for finding this thing."

"You don't have to be "down", you know you'll have to find it either way," Jason replies.

"Seriously, how is a sword made of bricks supposed to help us defeat a dark lord?!" Constantine shouts.

"Oh! I know!" Romulus happily exclaims. "We can use the bricks to build a wall around him! He'll be trapped!"

"I think you spent one too many nights at Emperor Trump's," Constantine notes, shaking his head.

"That was only one night!"

"I know, but Emperor Trump's ideas are contagious, let alone dumb as crap. Your fragile mind isn't safe around him, we talked about this!"

"Sorry, you're right, I'll be a quiet pupper now. I like goldfish better though, so I'll be a silent goldfish instead."

After a long while of traveling, Jason notices the trees starting to thicken, and the path has become more dense with them. "Be careful, we don't want to get lost in this forest. In order to reach our destination as quickly as possible so to not risk the Shreks finding it first, we'll need to cross the Swamp of Blue, so we can't waste any time being lost."

"Sounds pretty gucci clean for a swamp," Hitler remarks.

"No, quite the contrary, actually," Jason replied. "You'll see why in a moment. The swamp is inhabited by loud sentient jars of mayonnaise."