The Crippled Mind

Outdoors

Today is a sunny and beautiful day for walking, filled with that fresh aroma of nature's mere existence. Magnificent! An environment auto-filtering nice clean refreshing and healthy air, is just breath taking. Auh! Capsing and screaming with excitement, as hands flong in the air shouting "Yes!" releasing that moment of pleasure. Leaving one with that tantalizing and sensational feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction. Flushed with emotions that are just too big to be contained or ignored. An orgasmic effect of pleasure to another level, the Lumbsden Estate really gives all that and more once explored. A life without a little experience of mother nature is lifeless, non-enchanting and boring; just really not humane at all. But just like all other days Marie-Anna's life consist of nothing but boredom and boundaries stagnating, suffocating and strangling her to a state of death beyond reconciliation. A state of mental death to be exact, which can and will probably lead to a physical one some day. Her days are pointless. Invisible barriers engulfed round about her constantly, no room to breathe, no substance to help her grow and absolutely no way of escaping from this asylum called home. Sigh! No external intervention or stimulation and a limitation of internal stimuli to boost her adrenaline to not even the first level of living. It's effortless to think which is better being alive or being dead for Marie-Anna. It's like watching the movie buried alive only it's not under the earth but in her home. It is so sad, such a beautiful young woman yet, just a waste of God's perfect creation. No balance, no structure, pretty much frozen in time and space. Her life is like a new edition of glass menagerie all over again.

A young woman with no adventures, no fun, no sense of purpose, just a dark and gloomy life with nothing to explore or looked forward to is too painful for anyone to fathom. She has never been on a picnic or hike, neither has she ever played in the snow. Building a snowman and snowballing is the best part of winter for children, except for young Marie-Anna. Sadly by the time she came into this world and was able to walk and talk properly, Pap had already taken ill. Everyone was all grown up and doing their own thing, forgetting what it is like to have childlike fun. Most of the outdoor activities they use to do as a family were almost non-existing. Lying in the middle of the meadow for hours, staring at the sun beaming through the canopy was really enlightening for the Lumsden children twenty to twenty five years ago. Now that they have become full fledged adults they rarely get the zeal or have the time to walk on nature's comforting land anymore. It has gotten worst with each year, "It is no fun outside without Pap," they say and so it all went with the wind of time. Her little life is like that of the fairytale story Rapunzel minus the indoor activities that Rapunzel had to do to keep her occupied. Sitting by her window is her only sense of connection with the outside world. Stucked in a glass cubicle all day long dying for a chance to be freed must be the thoughts that flow through her head each day.

The beauty of the Lumbsden Estate and Manor is like a well kept secret garden with many magical doors leading to quite a lot of amazing sceneries to explore, which young Marie- Anna is yet to experience and may never get that opportunity to do so. It's like a tale of buried treasure in a fairytale land filled with life waiting to be explored. The only difference is that, the treasures are hiden in plain sight for all to see and experience. God's beautiful land, is a site to behold. Oh that sweet magnificent smell of the pine oak and forest green transported through that rustling wind. Not to mention that warm earthy scent which whooshes up at the rise of the sun or on a rainy day perfuming the atmosphere and sometimes even tickling ones nose. Those little shrubs, twigs and tall grasses brushing against delicate and tiny fingers as they run with arms wide stretched through a meadow that has once filled them with bountious joy. Oh! that warm feeling of the earth beneath bare feet so soft like a pillow on a summery day. Not to mention their laughter that echoes through a grove filled with so much life and existence, never able to hide their joy. The Estate is so rich and full of fun, yet undiscovered by the young soul and under used by those who knew of it's true delite. Every now and then one could hear the willows creeked at the hush of a wind whaling and howling for the master of the land, the birds chirped as they go about their merry way singing happy tunes sometimes sad. Then you have that amalgamation of aroma that burst in the air permeating the surrounding  with that ripen fruits freshness, which lye wasted under the fruit trees. A land richly coated yet the wealth seems useless.