Chapter 1: New School

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"This is it. New school, huh.." I thought to myself. It was just the first day, there was no need to be so nervous. Despite all I knew, I was nonetheless, a nervous wreck. I then realized I had never been on my own in this way. I always had a friend with me, in elementary, in middle school but, this was high school. My friends had moved on to several different schools and, even my oldest friend, had departed me. What was I to do here, alone? I walked in the extremely unfamiliar halls desperately trying to take in my surroundings as soon as possible in order to grow accustomed to this, to little help. Up the stairs. Third floor. This was it, to finally meet all the people I might spend my entire high school life with or without. Was I ready? Absolutely fucking not. I opened the door only to be nearly immediately knocked down. Two kids racing through the hall chasing after one another like they already knew each other with little heed to the teachers and staff. Strange, is what you would've called it. To walk in on tons of scrambling kids attempting to grab their schedules. That was, until a booming voice came over on a megaphone in our seemingly large "welcome center" at the time. It was nothing but what looked to be the size of one or two classrooms missing a wall and doors. Blue tiled flooring with faint light blue walls that looked rough to the touch. The voice told all students to be quiet as instructions were spat out in almost every direction. Ninth grade, table A. Tenth grade, table B. Eleventh grade, table C. Fairly neat groups of 10 or 20 at a time approached each table. My turn, feeling quite shy, I let everyone else go before collecting my schedule and heading to my first period. Mrs. Ferri, I asked for directions walking down a hall, turning around and walking down another until I finally found her room. A polite and sweet lady, she welcomed each student. I sat down, unfamiliarized, imagining if I'd ever get accustomed to this. Several boring classes later, it was lunch and I had been fearing it more than any other time of the day. A group of girls giggling, one of whom looked very nice told me to sit with them. I had enjoyed spending time with them but, they were sure exhausting and there was a part of me that knew, these were definitely not the people I belonged with. I went along with it for as long as I possibly could. At least, to have some feeling of belonging would have been nice. Even if I knew it wasn't real. Several days later, it had been our first few days in this school. A girl with pecan brown hair that shimmered under the light had called me over. I had "friends" but, I didn't fit in and I knew it. I sat alone in the welcome center every morning for 40 minutes. Reading quietly or watching my phone to appear preoccupied. This pecan haired girl couldn't have possibly really noticed. Had she? I approached her to find two more girls. One with cute little cornrow braids pressed against the side of her head with glasses in a few baggy pieces of clothing. The other girl, was dressed in a little black coat with a seemingly similar appearance to me. Black hair, a little wavy with glasses and a bright smile. I said hi to all of them as I was told to sit with them and that's how we ended up together. Sweetly, I was welcomed into their group and got very close with the girl who looked similar to me. Her name was Xae. The other girl with cornrows was introduced as Rave. My pecan haired pursuer was named Shannon. Overtime, I slowly got closer to all of them as we got more aware of each other's personalities and abilities. It had been a full two weeks in this school before Rave and I, waiting for Shannon and Xae on the heater in the girls' bathroom were confiding in each other. "I think I like someone" Rave had said quietly. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to do anything I could to help her end up with this boy. Whoever he was, I wanted to let them be together but, she claimed she was far too shy to approach him. "Well who is he? What does he look like?" I had so many questions and she looked beyond overwhelmed as I apologized and she told me to follow her. We had landed up near a room I'd never been in as of yet, belonging to Ms. Mercury. "In there.." was her quiet and sneaking tone as we casually passed by the doorway. "I can't see him, which one is it?" I was far beyond lost despite there being only two boys in there. "That one, in the black hoodie." I stood daringly as if I was about to jump off the high dive right into a whirlpool which considering I couldn't swim, was very daring. I peeked around the corner only to see a boy with black, swift curls surrounding his face as he giggled and laughed with green lens on his glasses. In a black sweater with a small white insignia I couldn't quite make out, I watched him laugh like he belonged. He looked beautiful, were my thoughts before I saw him turn in my direction as I took Rave and jetted. Heart beating fast, eyes fluttering as I replayed his image, ears consumed only by the sound of his laughter. I already felt it coming, a feeling I already was far too soon to be appearing. A situation it shouldn't have even been trying to but its head in. A time that was far too inadequate for it to be possible. Love, huh. It's a killer. 

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