Diamond Life

Chapter 18

Lauren Pov

My bruises were going slowly but my depression grew stronger by the second. I couldn't help but think about school being that its my last year. My mind soured mostly on diamond and my little sisters. They were the only family I have. The only people whom I could depend on and the only ones that were true. I tried to hold in my tears but they came like you fall asleep ;Slowly then all at once. I crouched in a corner and hugged on my legs.

"The feelings are totally mutual. "
I heard a voice said

"Whose there?" I screamed with tears streaming down the face

"Someone you tell everything to. Basically someone who knows everything about you."

"Nah! Hell nah! I can't be going crazy."

Silent chuckle.

"When you think your alone you have me. I'm like so close to you!"

"Diamond"

"Nope"

"Ma!"

"Hell nah!"

"Your my skin, my heart, my lungs, the air I breathe! What! Tell me before I do go psychotic up in here talking to you!"

"You more stupid than I've image. I'm your conscience dumb ass!"

My puzzled face became visible. Once again I thought the only thing I lived for was depression and loneliness!

"Look, your conscience only comes to talk to you to uplift you. Nevertheless I came to motivate you. You've been down and heading further and further into a deep road of depression. I understood you lost family and friends but being depressed about it ain't finna bring them back!"

"I don't need the help. I feel psychotic just conversation with you."

"I ain't human but I am real. I'm prolly one of the realists shit you'll ever experience since diamond, plus you sitting in this hot as house, no current , no eating , just showering to drown your fucking self ad you don't need help! Hello!"

"You know that feeling when you get when something goes down and you wake up thinking it a dream , that life goes back to when it started before that thing went down and now you living in that tragedy and just can't believe it. That all your life foster care was showing you that downhill but you still heading up top then you finally fall and fear to get back up."

"No , but I live with you, I mean in you. I'm like the other half of you. What you live I live better. What goes wrong in you part goes right on mines. What stays strong on my part goes weak on yours. It's like karma but I don't ever feel the bad. It goes to you because your suppose to be stronger!"

"What am I suppose to do!"

"Benefit!"

"What?"

"Benefit off of it. You know like they say one broken heart is a lesson and the second heart is a blessing. Its like that. Learn from all the bad in your life. Chain your heart down and be a better person. Changer attitude, your ways, gratitude and everything else. It's like tossing old laundry that can fit you. Clear you head and clean you slate . Start fresh!"

As I thought of everything my conscience told me , It's became bright but true to me. She kept it real with me and told me what it was. I never thought I someone could tell it to me like that. Now I know I can truly start fresh.
I'm gonna start by cleaning my house , getting anew job and so fort. Most defiantly go back to school.
I not just gonna let my life slide like this with hoping on the boat with it .

Bottom line dont make depression and Lonliness drag you so far that you ain't want to get back up. Fight for your happiness. Believe in your self. All you need is to uplift your self and you'll make it.

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