letter 1: rain

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dear you ~
do you know
i watch you as you rest your chin upon your hand,
as you blink sleep from your quiet eyes,
when i think you won't look over?
my pulse rushes,
leaving me just shy of breath
even as i sit quite still
mere chairs away from you,
there's something in the silence
humming, taut,
and i think i am the only one who hears it.
others' faces are blank,
and i fear mine is the only one
marked by flushed cheeks,
too warm for the season
too loud for the static emptiness of the room
too aware
of you,
you and your silent, lightly tapping fingers,
and your songs no one else can hear.
i want to hear them
i want you to hear me
maybe, we're not so different
maybe, perhaps -
but your gaze never meets mine,
and time makes a fool of me again.
i depart, silent into the rain,
where i dance to the hush of our sound,
where the cold stings my flushed cheeks
only to make them brighter
and more alone,
again

~the girl in the rain

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