I'm taken by surprise and pull away.
"Rol? What was that for?" I ask gently.
"I don't know," she stammers and takes her hands away.
I grab them and hold them, sitting down on the bed and pulling her down beside me.
"Carol?"
A tear slides down her cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb.
"It isn't a big deal," I say quickly. "God, I have kissed you plenty of times. More full on as well, we picked up for about half an hour once!" I try desperately to make Carol feel better.
"It isn't that. It is because I'm in such a bad place right now. I feel as if everything is slipping away, especially you."
"Oh, Carol," I coo.
"I can't lose you, not after what I have been through."
"You won't lose me, I promise. You will wish you had, because I'll be living in your basement, unemployed and setting a bad example for your kids. It is gonna be great, for me."
She gives a tear sodden laugh.
"You don't have to worry about losing me or Emma. You can come to us anytime, even at 3am. Chances are I'll be up cause of insomnia and whatever."
A few more tears roll down her cheek.
"What is the matter?" I coax and wipe her tears away.
"I'm scared I will lose you," she says through tears.
I look at her sadly and crouch down in front of her. "Carol, you will never lose me. You can rest easy, I'm not leaving you anywhere alone."
"I really don't want to do this anymore," Carol sighs.
I stare into her eyes and look at her meaningfully. "Well, too bad. Cause while I live, you live and while you live, I live," I say firmly.
She laughs.
"I'm sorry I kissed you. I really don't know what came over me." She lies down into bed and pulls the blanket over her.
"You literally make out with me every time you are drunk," I point out laughing.
It would be so easy to tell her what I've been avoiding admitting, but to tell her would mean that it becomes real and I'm not ready for that. I turn the light off and crawl beside her. Wrapping my arm around her and hugging her, knowing just how she is feeling. I fall into a warm and safe sleep with Carol resting soundly by my side.
Hold your horses! God, they are best friends, I wouldn't let that happen!
YOU ARE READING
Ange (girlxgirl)
Teen FictionUntil one morning, Ange was avoiding school and struggling, but after striking a deal with her step mother, she returns to school on a regular basis and meets her new teacher, Miss Winnett, and Ange realises that maybe school isn't that bad after a...
