The Only Way To Live

The Vase

I run faster than I've ever ran before. My body's hurting and trying to get into sleep mode over and over again. But I can't stop, not now. I have to keep running. Even if it means breaking every bone in my body. I instantly feel how my anger is boiling inside me. Fucking dad, how could he do that to us? A blue eyed mother and small siblings who doesn't think about anything except toys. Everyday I risk to be taken away from the once I ever have loved. And my teachers just complain about my fucking grades. If they only knew. I have to keep running. RUN! I must've stopped. That's how drowned in thoughts I was. Fuck! I'm just about to start running again when a black van turn in to an entrance just some hundred meters away from me and two men in uniform jump out of the car and start running against me. I feel how I somehow get new powers. I've never been in such a hurry. My feet feel heavy against the ground and I start to feel dizzy, but i don't stop. I continue all the way to my house. There I can finally breath out.

I drag myself into the beautiful garden and look at the flowers. I could sit here for hours, if I wouldn't be me. If I would be a rich girl with wonderful parents, a girl who was loved by her teachers. If I wouldn't be followed with an expensive vase in my hands. But this is my life, and I'm not living in a dream. So for me this is a pretty unpleasant place. Think that something so beautiful can hide such a dark secret.

I open the door and sneak in without waiting for an answer. I walk through the bright rooms and look at everything that I've managed to do through the years. I continued until I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's mr Kanedorf. A long, skinny man with brown eyes. I hate him. Or, hate and hate, he has helped us on one way. But I wouldn't call to lure a kid into criminality hell. Fuck, now I'm angry again. But I can't show that. He could get me locked up really easy. And if they find my fingerprints somewhere I'm screwed. So I sit down and use my energy to bite my lip.

I get my money and give him the heavy vase that almost made my arms fall down. And he gives me a look with sympathy. If I wouldn't know how he was, if actually think he was kind. But of course, if he'd have a bit sympathy he would've gotten me a real job from the very beginning.

I slam the door and keep going down the street. If you wouldn't know me you could actually think I was a normal teenager. With my bag hanging from my shoulder and my red brown hair fixed into a messy bun, slowly walking down the street with my phone in my hand.

I really wish I could be who I really am, but probably the cops would've gotten me a long while ago. Recognized me from the survival cameras and seen me on the streets. So all the time I have to change my style and the color of my hair. And always be discreet and fit in. I put my hand in my pocket and drag my fingers on the money. They're so soft, and I HATE it. I just wanna tore them apart, but I can't. Mum needs them. Poor mum, still thinks I work at a kindergarten. If it just would've been so easy. But on the other hand it's good that she doesn't know. She would never accept my money. My way to live would be a shock for her.

I close the door to my room and throw myself on the bed, or at least I try, but fall over my damn brother and face first one the floor. What the fuck is he even doing here? And of course he starts crying. "SHUT UP" I scream and put the pacifier in his mouth. That kids have to be so fucking pathetic, and they're supposed to be the new generation. Well, it wouldn't surprise me a shit if the world would explode or something like that tomorrow.

But one thing is clear, here, I'm in charge, so I pick up my brother from the rug and throw him out of my room. Then I go to make some dinner before my mum gets home.