The Dream

When I first met you, I never thought you would stay on my mind for too long. There were no sparks nor butterflies but you somehow managed to linger on thoughts every now and then.

You were the "For keeps" type of guy. Someone I'd like to be with. Someone I know I want to be goofing around and cuddly at the same time. Someone I know who can protect me whenever I need him. Someone I'd look forward to seeing everyday because his presence makes me feel hype.

I never thought I'd saw the man I pictured myself being with in the future in you. Why do you have to be so good and loyal and faithful and responsible and caring and family-oriented...and... There's endless ANDs.

You made me feel hopeful somehow knowing a man like you truly exists. And You made me feel frustrated at the same time because a man like you never saw me the way I wanted to be seen. Never took a chance on me for reasons that I know but I chose not to know.

What hurts me the most is the truth that, the only person who inflicts pain on me is myself. For being giddy whenever your name flashes on my screen. For getting my hopes up again whenever our friends try to play cupids for us, but it will never work out because I'm the only one with an arrow pierced through my heart. For still wishing you'd see that I'm more than willing to fix what's been broken and to shield you from another heart ache. For promising myself that I'd be over you, but here I am... Asking myself why I'm not pretty enough, why I'm not sexy enough, why I'm not attractive enough, why I'm never enough.