Lifting my legs off the bed felt like ton of bricks weight. The loud noise from the iPhone alarm blared rung loudly and I attempted to opened my eyes. The dream happened again, damn, why does this dream keep re-occurring. Always starts off with me walking through elementary school hallways looking for him. Question repeatedly haunting me: who is is this man. The moment, every single moment the rush of seeing him was close mystery man vanished.
Alarm on phone sounded off again and my daughter's father reached over to hold my waist. Please don't touch me, I thought to myself. Last night was my umpteen time catching him sexting other women on the phone. The sex is always good, dick on point, but damn the fucking cheating has got to stop.
Looking over to the window, the sunrise light served as reminder to get my ass out of bed. Little princess was still sleep. "Come on Rose, get up and head to this money", words slid off my lips with complete annoyance.
August 2015
Time on the computer slowly changed and it seem as work day would never end. List of things to accomplished crowded every single thought. Seem as if shit load of things to, however what stuck to the brain is having to board crowded ass CTA train to pick up little bean from daycare.
Last 30 mins finally arrived and amazingly my legs carried me quickly out the office. Summer in Chicago still held slight intense heat; however the random cool crisp of fall blew by. Jackson red line stop was crowded as usual, bright side was a nice seat right by the window.. Breathe of relief left my lips and it dawned on me that iPhone notifications were coming in back to back. Same shit as always, friend saying hey, liking a status, commenting on post. My eyes briefly scanned, right before I closed my phone to listen to music a friend request popped up. Damn this man was handsome, copper skin, eyes slanted, short trimmed mixed black hair, lips thick as ever. My mind jogged back forth trying to figure out who this man was. Maybe my daughter father sent him? Then again he wouldn't be that petty. Fuck it I will add him, as soon as confirmation was sent message came through.
Chris: hey do you remember me?
Rose: you look familiar, but I'm trying to lol
Chris: lol damn I used to be in the classroom next to you in elementary school
My brother use to make fun of u.
Rose: who was your brother?
Chris: his name is Blake
There was pause and flashback came to mind of Blake making fun of my Jamaican accent and forehead. Wait that can't be Wayne, I use to always stare at him and look at his beautiful hair. All the girls use to talk constantly how he was mixed with Native American, the silkiness his hair . What always got me was his eyes. Something about Wayne eyes were hypnotic. Almost as if he could see through someone's soul.
Me: I remember Chris, how did you find me ?
Chris: your eyes
My profile picture specifically was just nose up and my eyes. I didn't even know what to say. Out of everything Wayne remembered eyes. I closed my eyes for seconds and thought about that recurring dream. No This can't be him from my dream. My intuition kept saying, "that's him". You were looking for him. It didn't make sense, why would I be looking for him if i wasn't thinking about him? The sub-conscious mind is curious.
Rose: I didn't expect you say that
Chris: I had crush on you in elementary school but got mad when you starting talking to Chris
Rose: lol, I thought he was cute but I didn't like Chris like that. My mom was so strict, I barely had any freedom to
Go outside.
