The Cover Up | harry styles

chapter thirteen

- Harry's -

I opened the door to see her sitting on the floor, staring at the ground. I wasn't wearing anything fancy but my pyjamas bottoms. I was confused to why she was outside my door. Was she drunk by any chance? 

I opened the door a little bigger and she looked up at me. Her eyes were shiny and I could see that she was sad. "Hi." I greeted her. She tried to smile at me but it only made her look even sadder.

"Hi." she managed to squeeze out.

We stared at each other in silence for a minute. The hallway was silent as usual. There were very little units anyway. I placed my hand at the back of my neck, feeling awkward. "It's late... What made you come here?" 

She paused, playing with her fingers. "I don't know." she replied.

I nodded, closing the door behind me and leaning on it.

"No, really. I don't know." she continued. "I don't know what I'm even doing or if this is even a good idea. I just... I don't know." 

I slid onto the ground, sitting opposite her. "Is there another reason, other than 'i don't know'?"

"I wanted someone to talk to and..." her voice was cracking at this point. "Amber is living her life and I didn't want to disrupt any of that. I couldn't talk to her. And talking to Niall wouldn't be a good idea. Very bad idea actually." she said, looking down at her fingers.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She looked up at me, as tears filled her eyes. "Actually no." she admitted, her face softening as she tried to pull back he tears that were forming in her eyes. "I'm not okay. Everything just sucks basically. And I have no control at all to it."

"Management?" I asked, feeling a little guilty because I was partly the cause of all this ruckus.

She shook her head, still looking down at her fingers. "I mean yeah, management sucks. They're rushing me into things and whatever. But I don't know... It kinda grows on you after a while." she paused, taking a deep breath. "It's just my mom." her voice started to crack once again.

She unfolded her legs, running her hands on her thighs and knees.

"You think you know someone but you realise they've been keeping the truth from you your whole life. I always knew my mom was uptight but I never thought she'd spread her influence on me, you know? Like I'm expected to be as perfect and think the same way she does. It sickens me." 

"Everyone has reasons, Sof." I reasoned out to her.

"She lied to me, Harry. How could your own mother lie to you about your father - the other person who gave life to you?" the tears started to escape her eyes and starting rolling down her cheeks. She looked so damaged that I've never seen her this way.

I've seen her shed tears of anger but never tears of sadness and it just breaks my heart to see her this way. 

"I don't even know what to believe anymore. All I hear coming out from my mother's mouth is 'lies, lies, lies'." she cried even harder, bringing her palms to her eyes. I couldn't believe my eyes, seeing her break down right in front of me. 

She was shaking so hard, her tears were choking her own words. "Please, don't cry." I begged. Watching her cry like this was unbearable for me to watch. 

"I'm sorry, I just can't stop myself--" she said, bringing her face in between her knees.

I moved closer to her, feeling the need to comfort her - to tell her everything is okay and that I'll be there for her. Instead, I slid my arms under her and lifted her lightly. As I slid beside her, I placed her gently on my lap, bringing her closer to me.