Beauty was her name and she showed it flawlessly. I was always entranced by her when she'd pass me in the hallways and smile with perhaps the most gorgeous smile in the world.
I think the moment I realized how much I loved her was in the bathroom. My boyfriend and I broke up and I was, to say the least, heartbroken, or that's what I thought at the time. I think I never truly experienced true love until she found me; she didn't say a word she just looked at me and with her beautiful green eyes and kissed me with her round peach lips. In that moment I knew I loved her, when she pulled back I, surprised, just stared at her. She came close to my ear and whispered "Our little secret,OK" she said it like a command, she didn't even bother to explain or justify what she had just done she just smiled and walked out.
I was restless for months on end, tortured by her grace and body; I felt like a lovesick fool when she would look at me. As she talked to me wth her sweet voce I fell deeper and deeper in love with its sound. Everyday i'd come home to an emptiness in my heart that could only be filled with her touch, her grace, her humility, her everything. I craved her night and day and wished upon every star I gazed. I couldn't keep her out of my mind.
A year went by and I still hadn't told her how I felt on that day she kissed me and everyday since. I myself had no idea what it was that is was feeling. All I know was that she had to kiss me again or I would be stuck in an endless cycle of wanting. I kept my inner most deepest feelings under wraps and convinced myself that I didn't love her, that I didn't hear a thousand angels singing when she spoke, that I didn't feel my heart skip a beat and my body go numb whenever I saw her.
I kept it all under so many wraps, each wrap a different reason why I didn't love her. I don't love her because it's wrong for me to love her, I don't love her because it's against my beliefs, I don't love her because it's not what my family wants she's not who my family wants me to love. I don't love her because I don't understand why I feel my heart skip a beat when I see her and I don't understand why I hear a thousand angels sing whenever she speaks and I don't understand why my body goes numb or why I miss her soft peach lips, I don't love her because I don't understand what love is!
I've never felt love and I don't think I ever will. Everyone said I loved Tom, my ex-boyfriend, and they tried to comfort me after but I don't think that was love. I never heard angels sing when I saw him, I never missed his kiss, I never went numb when I saw him, I never felt anything like that when I was with him.
I don't know what it feels like to be in love, and I obviously don't love Sara, the women I kissed, you just heard all the reasons why. Explaining the way I feel and emotions is difficult and to hard for anyone to do.
