Broken-hearted girl

18th October 2017.

It's been over a month and my heart still sinks every time I see his name. I miss him so much. I thought it was supposed to get easier? For me it's definitely getting worse. Everyday that goes by I miss him more and more. But I don't know if I actually miss him. Maybe I just miss the thought of having him, a boyfriend.

Some days aren't as bad as others. Some days I'm really happy and excited for the future, to move on and be the happy that I wasn't with him. But others I don't believe that will ever happen.. I just want to be happy, but it's so hard without him.

I still love him so much and I absolutely hate myself for it. He weren't the best boyfriend, but he was my bestfriend. I hate to admit it but I genuinely do feel like a part of me is missing.

Seeing him speaking to other girls this quickly and moving on much sooner than me breaks my heart. How could he do this after so many years of 'loving' me?

Here I am, lying in bed, alone, crying (again) because I wish he was here with me. But instead he's probably making someone else happy.

I thought this was what we needed.. and I hoped that he would realise what he had lost and come fighting for me, but I was wrong. He wanted this. But what he doesn't want, is me.