Untouched Memories (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 10: Waking up

An irritating beeping noise blasts over and over in one of my ears. 

“Shh” I tell it “I’m trying to sleep”

 But instead of stopping it keeps on beeping. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

Prying my eyes open, I turn over to find myself not in my own room.

 Instead of my usual bedside table and lamp, I find hospital equipment and several stands of gauzes and antiseptics.

 I look back at the roof and I am shocked when there is a face in front of me. I start to panic, where am I? What am I doing here? Who is this person staring down at me?

 “Good morning Miss Wilson, how are you feeling?” A woman asks me. 

 “Mmmm” I grumble getting more confused and panicked at my surroundings. 

“I am your nurse, Tris.” She has high pitched sugary voice that aggravates me more than it should. 

“Um…” I start “What am I doing here?” My voice sounds tired and groggy and is croaky in places, Tris walks around to lift my bed so that I am sitting and answers me. 

“Honey, you were attacked. Apparently the man was someone close to you. But its ok, you can feel safe in here.” She tries to soothe me, but it doesn’t work. 

My breathing quickens as my memory foggily returns. I remember I’m in London and I live with Eleanor and I’m a model and I was acting in a video for One Direction and I had to kiss Harry. 

Harry! 

Where is Harry? Is he still mad at me? Does he know I’m here? Suddenly another face appears in my mind. I can’t put a name to it though. 

A boy, with tanned skin and muscles rippling through his shirt, he has short hair also. In my mind, the boy smiles at me, a warm inviting smile. He has honey coloured eyes that I am entranced by. Then I am there with him. Where are we? 

I shake his hand and introduce myself. But I don’t hear his name in return. I find out we are modelling together, for an English brand that I can’t put a name to. We are laughing together and I realise this is the first time we meet. 

Is he my boyfriend? But as soon as I reach this theory his smile turns into a snarl and his eyes turn red at their sockets. I know who this person is. Matt. 

He was the one who attacked me. Rage fills my gut, along with an all too familiar feeling of fear and violation. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been attacked. 

Pictures and images of Jake flash through my mind. I can hear the heart rate monitor beeping faster and faster as I remember what I have been through. My head starts to pound as I look over at the door and see him standing there.

Harry. 

His back is turned to but I know it’s him, his arms littered with tattoos and his brown curly hair. 

He stands by the door back with his head turned down I look over his tall frame, from his dark skinny jeans to his grey top. He turns around and I look at the rest of his exposed tattoos. 

‘Things I can’t’ and ‘Things I can’ on his wrists, the bottom of the boat peeking from under his sleeve, an array of small and meaningful shapes covering other parts of his arms and finally the tops of two birds that I can see from the opening of his top. 

 My eyes wonder to his face and I see his eyes searching for mine. I meet them and try my best to smile, despite the cuts on my face restricting me. 

“Charlie!” Harry exclaims as he walks towards me and sits down next to my bed. “I have been so worried, God, I thought you’d never wake up” He is now stroking my face gently and leans in towards me. He smells familiar, like safety and I feel my heart rate slow at the presence of this. 

“I’ve been here the whole time” 

“Ahh,” The nurse interrupts “I have to test her vitals; it will only take a minute.” 

“Oh, of course, of course” Harry says and quickly moves off the bed and onto the chair next to it. Tris, the nurse walks towards me and reads of my heart machine, writing down all the information in her file. She runs a few other tests and tells us she will be back in half an hour with food. 

“Do you remember everything that happened?” Harry asks me softly, taking my hand in his. I look down at my hand there are small cuts on it and a bandage wrapped around my wrist.

“I think so” I mumble and it is that point where I remember what I did to Harry. Guilt washes over me and I have the sudden urge to cry. So I do. 

“No, don’t cry… Charlie… it’s ok, I’m here for you” Harry tells me 

“But Harry, I wasn’t there for you. I left you for… him” Harry cringes when I mention Matt, even if I didn’t say his name. 

“It was all a big mistake Charlie. But don’t worry. It was my mistake too, and the rest of the boys” 

“But if I had waited for you to explain, it wouldn’t have gone out with him and we wouldn’t have been in that room together and he wouldn’t have….” I stop talking as I realise that I’m breathing quickly and my heart rate monitor is beeping faster. I attempt to control my breathing and calm down but I can’t.

 I close my eyes as tears spill down my cheeks, but it doesn’t stop the tears so I open them again. I look over at Harry whose face is panicked looking at me. He starts to stroke my cheek slowly.

 “Shhh Charlie its ok you’re safe, he’s not going to hurt you ever again” his voice is slow and soothing. He repeats the words as he strokes my face and wipes away my tears. Slowly but surely my heart rate drops and I calm once again. Harry’s words stopped and we are both silent for a time. 

“How long have I been here?” I look over to Harry. 

“Two days” he lets go of my hand “they had to stop the bleeding but your head was hit pretty hard and the doctor said that you had severe concussion that had resulted in you being in a slight comatose state” I look at him slightly alarmed. 

“Am I going to be ok though?” He gives me a slight smile to me. 

“Yes, the doctor says you will make a full recovery because there is no brain damage” I sigh a little and look up at the ceiling. 

“Everyone has been to visit” he smiles at me. The thought makes me smile.  I am silent for a minute before another question begins to burn into my mind. 

“Where is Matt now?” I ask. Harry looks at me and then down at the sheets.

 “I don’t know” He tells me “I lost him… I tried to find him but I lost him” I don’t really know what to think. Matt is still out there… and so is Jake. I can’t find the energy enough to worry about them now. I just want to enjoy Harry’s company. “Charlie, did he… you know…” Harry struggles to find the words, before he leans in and whispers “rape you?”

 Rape me? No, not Matt. I put up enough of a fight this time; I wouldn’t let it happen again. I couldn’t let it happen again. My conscience wouldn’t handle it. I fought and kicked and screamed so that eventually Matt just gave up. He gave up and left me lying on the floor. 

“No” is my reply. Harry’s face relaxes a little and he holds my hand again. We stay like this in silence for some time, lost in our own thoughts.