coming back~3years later <Bethan>

coming back~3years later <Bethan>

It's been forever since I seen Ethan like 3 years and I guess it was my fault. Ever since we were teens people have been bugging both me and Ethan that we were a couple

It bugged me to no end but Ethan was my friend so I ignored it but it wasn't till sometime in our senior year when he told me he likes me more than just a friend that I snapped. I told him I didn't feel the same and that I was disgusted by that

After that I stayed away from him ignored him till graduation and went to a college far far away from him I went a year or so without thinking of him and it was alright I made a few new friends at college and had a girlfriend for a couple of months but then one day I was reminded of Ethan and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him out I couldn't. I started to feel different when ever I thought of him I tried to think nothing of it until recently when I told my now ex-girlfriend but best friend about this she set things straight In my head and in my heart it took a long time but she did

She helped me realize deep down I like...ok love Ethan all this time that I didn't what our friendship ruined but I guess i destroyed that considering I was acting like a huge jerk to him that I was blinded I pushed him away but I'm going to straighten this out today I now know that I love him too so now I'm heading back to whitechaple for Christmas break to met grandma and to see Ethan again to tell him

I got out of the taxi at the front of my home I called grandma ill be coming yesterday I'm so excited I really missed it here I rushed in the door was unlocked and dropped everything at the door and called out "grandma! Grandma I'm home"

She came out of the living room she looks older more fragile but I'm happy to see her .I went to hug her

"Oh Benny you've gotten so tall" she said in her frail voice as she hugged me

"I missed you" I whisper in her ear and I mean it when I was in college I never came here afraid ill see Ethan and at that time i didn't want to realized I liked him but not anymore "oh that reminds me" I said once our hug is done "I'll be back grandma I got to see Ethan I...I have something to tell him"

I see her face fall from happy to sad but I guess it's reasonable considering I just got here after so long "Benny I think we should talk" she said taking my hand in her frail ones gently guiding me to the living room

But I took my hand away saying "can this wait I have to see Ethan I have to tell him I love him too and hope his feeling haven't changed" I walked out before grandma could respond

I lift my scarf higher to block out the cold as I started my short journey to Ethan's house once there I knocked on the door. "Benny!" The person who opened the door said surprised "Benny weir is that you!"

I looked at this person wondering who this girl is till it finally hit me "Jane?!"

She nods her head yes. Wow she's not the same little girl I knew years ago

"Omygosh Benny you grew I can see why Ethan has a crush on you" she said. Has...if I know my english it means Ethan may still like me I feel a smile grow on my face of that "Jane is Ethan home?" I ask

Her face fell but she let me in. I walk in the oh-so-fimilliar house and run into mr. An mrs. Morgan as they walk down the stairs "Jane who was that" mrs Morgan asked her daughter well that is till she looks my direction "Benny oh my it's been so long since we saw you how have you been doing" she said going to Hug me

I laugh even after senior year when I de-friended Ethan she still treats me the same as always "fine mrs Morgan but is Ethan home I want to talk to him" I answer

She un-hugs me with a sad face and said "don't you know"

"Know what?" I ask. She bites her lip as she shares a glance with everybody who seems to be having the same expression

"Sweetie I got to show you something" she said to me before turning to her husband and tried whispered "honey cancel what we had planed and call Aggie to..." I wondered why they would what my grandma but I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation cause I turned my head when my name was said and saw Sarah at the door along with Erica and Rory

"Hey" I said giving a small wave. Rory gave me a high five Erica just looked at her nails bored and Sarah just glared at me and hissed "what are you doing here"

"I came to see Ethan" I answered

"What for" she growled

"I know I have been rude before I left but I realized now well for a while that I like...love Ethan and I want to apologize and maybe tell him I love him and hopefully he still likes me too" I confess I see her face saddens "and I hope to become friends with you guys again I miss you guys"

I see a tear fall her cheek then I hear a small sob behind me I turn to see who but just then Mrs. Morgan told me to follow her so I did I followed her and Mr. Morgan to there car and they drove I didn't know we're they were taking me till they stopped at whitechaple's grave yard

"Why did you take me here" I ask but they didn't answer they just kept a straight face and got out I followed them till they stopped at one of the graves I was about to ask why they brought me here but It got choked up once I saw the name "no no no no no no..." I kept repeating kneeling next to the tombstone not caring my pants would get wet"...no no" I stopped repeating that word as I start crying I felt a hand on my shoulder I looked to see grandma there Ethan's parents behind her "h...how" I asked

"He he was shot a year after you left in the heart so there was no way of saving him"she answered I bit my lip as I looked back at the tombstone my lip trembling and eyes watering

So I just cried there and when they told me its time leave I yelled "NO I'M NOT GOING IM NOT LEAVING ETHAN NOT AGAIN IM NOT". So after that once they realize I'm not moving they left me I cried and cried and With all the crying I'm surprised Im not getting sick .why did this have to happen to Ethan, it should be me in that grave it should be me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sit near Ethan's grave, ski pants on. still very sad that Ethan's gone its been a couple of days since I realized Ethan died and I've been visiting him everyday since talking to him telling him that I love him and that I miss him placing a rosé for him everyday I come wishing he was still alive ,wishing to a least see his face again to see his smile to kiss his lips just once before he passed

•*~fin~*•