Burning Crimson

Chapter Eleven

The scene started dark, nothing was visible, he could hear pants and the sound of skin slapping against more skin, he knew that sound too well to dismiss it as nothing. The darkness started to fade out, showing him the beauty of her. Her green eyes, that's when he stopped fucking and started to make love. It was making love when it involved her. The emptiness in his chest felt filled but not filled physically, he just felt relief when he seen her.

It was peaceful, he felt fulfilled, she moaned and groaned beneath him as he came undone inside her. But her scent was what gave him the reality of it all. Maybe it wasn't insane, maybe he wasn't insane.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she whined into his ear as he screwed his eyes shut.

"You're here, don't leave me," he said into her ear, wanting her to be there with him, as close as a man and woman can get, he wanted to be inside of her, all around her. "Don't you fucking dare leave me, got it? Not again."

"Will you love me forever?" She asked, he was finished, so was she. He didn't remember this, anything of it all, really. This wasn't how she acted.

"All I have is love for you," he said and pushed her hair behind her ears. She was looking at him and he let his forehead rest upon hers, relishing in the moment before it all dissolved into pain and an empty feeling in his gut.

"You're already forgetting about me, Harry," she said into his neck, ducking away from his kisses. "I can feel it, you don't even like hearing my name anymore."

"Your name reminds me of all my mistakes," he said and rolled off of her, she looks at him, the room is dark but he can feel her eyes on his every movement. "I wake up and feel so fucked! What am I doing anymore?"

"Getting over the ghosts in your closet but remember, I'm not the only one," she says and he flinches, not wanting to dig into that chest of what he wanted to remain dead. "She has to come out some time too, Harry."

He just looks at her, already feeling it fade away. What he would kill to have her again, all the time. To leave all his past issues behind, where they belonged. In the past, he was ruined by someone he trusted, someone the higher hand in law trusted. Everything that he had already seen before was coming back to bite him in the ass. He didn't regret it, everything with Jenna, he didn't regret it at all. Jenna Burns was his foster mother, nice and everything kids wanted in a mom. She made amazing food, she had amazing stories and she was nice. But after she came into his room and dug into his trousers, he knew that she wasn't so nice.

"You can't ignore her anymore, you can't ignore me anymore," she said and he was ready to scream in her face and tell her to go away but he couldn't because he was scared she wouldn't ever come back to him, not even in his dreams.

"Don't keep me locked up in your mind." He was screaming, he didn't know that he was screaming but he was, loudly, he covered his mouth and shook back and forth when his sons kicked in. He sat up in his bed, feeling sick, but anger overruled, he started throwing everything he could reach, the comforter, the pillows, the lamp on his night desk. No doubt the girls downstairs would hear and wake up.

"Fuck! Fuck!" He screamed yelled into his room, the heat was overcoming him, piercing the still air, he broke into tears, hitting his bed, having a full on tantrum. Grabbing the keys on a loom, he sighed at how weak he was acting, like his whole body couldn't comprehend without some stimulation or maybe he didn't want to be alone after those dreams, after the image of her that still burned in his mind like a red poker. He rubbed his eyes and walked out of his room, walking towards Lilacs door, unlocking it.

She was sat up on her bed, looking at him when he unlocked it, she looked tired and she didn't even look at his eyes, the light color was surrounded by redness from his tears. She noticed his eyes that were also sad, she looked away as soon as he motioned for her to follow him, his body covered in dry sweat, getting cold and uncomfortable, he grabbed her hand and they walked to his room.

He let all his anger out in her, the young girl. She looked away, not admiring how he looked at her, trying to love her, trying to replace Luna. He hated it, he was so exhausted from everything. Where did she go, why did she go. Why would he let her go. She didn't listen to him, she wasn't obedient to him, she didn't want him. She only saw the bad in him, she only saw who he was on the outside.

The sun was coming up and he stood by his window, looking at the empty fields, the scenery was hideous and he hated it. But then again, seeing the same thing for seventeen years did get tiring. He looked at Lilacs sleeping body, he hated himself for hitting her, a bruise on her ribs showed itself to him when the pinks and oranges shined through the window.

[note: hey, so Luna is a big part of this story, obviously she isn't there with them. I like how this is going so far.]