NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, Part 1: Guarding the Broken

Chapter 5

When I got out of the shower, I felt much better. It actually felt good to have said all of that out loud, for someone to finally know some of what I went through. I never thought it would, but saying the words out loud took some of the anger away that was always boiling just under the surface.

I sat on my bed wrapped in my towel. So far, Ashton had been nothing but nice to me, and I'd repaid him by blurting out all of that horrible stuff and being a bitch to him. My gaze fell on my drawer that housed my swimwear. I chewed on my lip. I somehow felt like I owed him something – and he wanted to see the lake. Maybe, just for today, I could cut him some slack. It would be nice to take in some sunshine, and I loved the lake too.

I sighed as I made up my mind. Gripping my hair, I scraped it back into a messy bun before heading over to my drawers and pulling out my black, all in one swimsuit. After slipping it on, I covered it with a pair of baggy jeans and a long tee.

When I knocked on Ashton's bedroom door I heard bedsprings creak from inside before he opened it, seeming surprised to see me.

I smiled awkwardly. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied softly. He still looked upset.

I took a deep breath. "So, I'm sorry I went off on one at you. I shouldn't have said all those things to you, that wasn't fair of me, so I apologise."

He smiled weakly. "You don't have to apologise, Anna. I want you to be able to tell me things and trust me with it. I promise I won't say anything to anyone if you don't want me to."

I nodded. "Thanks. Well, I was wondering if you still wanted to go for that swim." I winced, waiting for him to tell me to take a hike or something for being such a bitch to him. Instead, he grinned and his whole face lit up.

"Yeah, I do," he said cheerfully.

"Okay, well I've asked Sarah to take you," I teased, laughing.

"Ha ha, you're hilarious," he muttered sarcastically, reaching for my hand and giving me a tug into his bedroom.

I glanced at the bed; the pillows were propped up against the headboard, and my book was face down on the middle of the bed. I grinned and pointed to it. "So, where you up to?"

"Edward and Bella have just arrived at the baseball field," he replied, going to his drawers and grabbing a pair of black shorts. "I'm just gonna go put these on. You need to get a swimsuit on or something?" he asked, heading towards his bathroom.

"No, I've already got mine on," I answered, shrugging.

"Oh yeah? What would have happened if I'd said I didn't want to go?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I shrugged easily. "I would've taken Dean. He was obviously feeling left out earlier. He wouldn't turn me down," I joked, smiling at him.

He laughed and shook his head. "I wouldn't turn you down either." He smiled and then disappeared into the bathroom.

I sat on his bed and grabbed the book just for something to do. He had his page marked so I flicked it open and a photo fell out that he was using as a bookmark. I turned it over to look at it. It was of him and four other guys. He had his arm around a blond guy next to him; they were all grinning and laughing, but that wasn't the reason why I couldn't look away from it.

All five of them were dressed in black SWAT uniforms. Ashton had a huge gun hanging off his shoulder and another smaller gun strapped to this side. He looked so sexy that my mouth actually started to water and my body started to get hot all over. I couldn't drag my eyes away from his smiling face in the photo, he looked so happy. I silently wondered who the other guys were and if they were close. The uniform was the hottest thing I'd ever seen.