NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, Part 1: Guarding the Broken

Chapter 9

I woke in the morning with him still spooning me from behind. His arms were wrapped around me securely as his breath blew into my hair. I smiled to myself. For someone who has never spent the night with a girl, he sure is cuddly!

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the closeness of him. It felt nice having someone hold me who wasn't after anything; if Carter had held me like this, it usually meant he wanted sex. I moved slightly to get more comfortable and his arms tightened around me. He sighed, and his leg tangled in with mine as his hand brushed against my thigh. My breath caught in my throat.

I gulped as unfamiliar feelings started creeping up on me, the same feelings that had started building yesterday in the car. My skin was prickling with sensation as my stomach fluttered. An unsatisfied ache, a longing for something unknown, filled my body. I'd never felt this kind of thing before, not of this magnitude anyway. The lust I felt inside was all consuming. I wondered what would happen if I turned around and kissed him, or if I ran my hand down his sculpted chest. Would he freak out and ask me what the heck I was doing?

Swallowing loudly, I rolled over to face him. The feelings of longing and need grew even more when I laid eyes on his beautiful, sleeping face. His body was so close, pressed against mine, and hard, toned and mouth-wateringly perfect. Before I even knew what I was doing, I'd bent forward and brushed my lips against his, just once, just needing to know what it would feel like. As soon as his lips touched mine, desire pulsed through my body. I laid my head back down and licked my lips, fighting the urge to kiss him again.

His eyes fluttered open, and a confused, shocked expression flitted across his face.

No! No, no, no, no! Oh my goodness, why did I do that? I gasped in horror because of what I'd just done – and the fact that I'd been caught doing it. My face flushed with embarrassment as I squirmed, trying to come up with words to explain my behaviour. I needed to apologise quickly because I'd just overstepped a line that should never be crossed.

"I-I'm really sorry! Oh God, I can't believe I did that! I'm so sorry, Ashton." I blushed like crazy and my voice wavered as I spoke.

Instead of answering, he bent his head and pressed his lips to mine again for a split second, before pulling back and looking at me cautiously. His expression was worried, nervous, scared even. It was almost as if he was waiting for me to freak out and punch him in the face.

My eyes widened in shock. I literally had no idea what to do or think. The only thing that registered in my mind was how nice it felt and how soft his lips were. My whole body was tingling with desire, my lips burning. I wanted more. Without my conscious consent, my hand moved to the back of his head, threading through his soft hair as I guided his mouth back down to mine, needing him like I needed the air in my lungs.

As his lips pressed against mine, he made a soft moan in the back of his throat as he pressed his body to mine. My mind was whirling, spinning, not making any sense as the sensations and passion took over, making my body ache for something that I'd not dared to think about since Jack was alive. When his tongue grazed my lip, the kiss deepened and changed to something even more desperate and fulfilling. His taste and the way his body pressed against mine made me forget who I was. It was glorious.

He cupped my face as he guided me onto my back and hovered above me, pressing me down into the soft mattress. I whimpered as the desire built. My fingers dug into his back, clutching him closer to me as one of his hands slowly trailed down my neck, across my side until finally, his fingertips brushed against the skin of my stomach. He was doing everything slowly, as if waiting for me to stop him. His hesitancy caught me off-guard and made me doubt that this was a good idea. After all, I didn't really want to be doing this with my new bodyguard, did I? My body answered for me. Yes, yes I did. As his hand pushed up under my pyjama top and headed up to cup my breasts, I let out a little moan and arched into him, needing to get him closer to me, to be consumed by him, to be one with him.