"And that's it! The battle is over! Angelina has won the tournament and is the new champion!"
Those words rang in my head over and over again as my alarm clock interrupted my peaceful slumber. It was 7 AM and the first day of college. I had just turned 19 and I was going to start my classes in Communications at the University of California Berkeley where I hoped to eventually become a sports and video game broadcaster for ESPN. Feelings of excitement and nervousness flow through my veins as I sit up with an exhausted look upon my face and sweat collecting underneath my Gardevoir waifu themed bedsheets. This was the first day of the rest of my life.
I arise out of my bed knees quakin' with thoughts of a long day of ludicriously hard introductory college classes ahead of me. I walk into the closet of my dormitory room to pick out something to wear before I begin my morning rituals. The battle was difficult, but I eventually decided to wear my cute striped white and blue crop top nestled under a worn in light denim jacket with highlighter yellow skinny jeans as a statement piece. To top it off, I decide to wear my sweet blue bedazzled boat shoes and a radical chunky necklace with lolita sunglasses in my long black hair.
After showering and putting on my foundational makeup and trademark red lipstick, I realize that I hardly have enough time for breakfast. Instead of enjoying a homemade omelet with hand-picked spinach and fresh wild mushrooms at the dining hall, I shove a Nature Valley™ peanut butter and banana protien bar down my throat. As my barbaric consumption of five of protien laden confections continued, my roommate awoke from her peaceful slumber with a confused look on her face. We made eye contact and I dashed out of the room in embarassment messanger bag in hand as I made my way to my first class of the school year, Speech 100.
I walked into a huge lecture hall filled to the brim with anxious freshman eagerly awaiting the professor's arrival. Trying to make a good first impression, I plopped myself front and center and got my pencil and notebook ready to record the earth-shattering wisdom I was about to witness. As I was about to get into my zone, I heard a deep voice whisper into my ear.
"Well hello there pretty young thing, how are you doing this fine morning?"
I looked up and made contact with two beautiful blue eyes coupled with high, effeminate eyebrows. I was astonished and speechless at the exact same time. The legends that my girlfriends back in high school told me were true. This was my first meeting with the creature known as the "college hottie." Tall and slim with a voice as smooth as the sound of Morgan Freeman narrating "March Of The Penguins" after downing five cherry slurpies, my focus was shattered and my body melted until all of my bones, tendons, and ligaments felt like lime flavored Jello-O. Before I got to reply, the professor stepped in the room and began class. She was a pretty lady, with long, perfeclty straight dark brown hair and legs to die for. I thought she was going to be a good instructor until she opened her mouth and a cacophonous noise that sounded like an 80 year old man being given a colonoscopy with fresh Sriaracha escaped her beautiful, symmetric lips.
Soon after class began, however, the door flew open and a malicious odor filled the room. A small man who bore a striking resemblance to Bloo from "Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends" entered the room donning a pizza stained "Star Wars" t-shirt, ripped light wash denim and beat up white converse sneakers. Not only that, but his stomach was rounder than my roommate Felisha's posterior. He came down to the front of the classroom still breathing heavily and sweat dripping from his unkempt, dirty mane and onto his tight Star Wars T-shirt, he apologized for being late and sat next to me and my new found college dreamboat.
_________________________________________________________
The class passed by, but not very quickly as the professor kept sqwaking on about irrelevant facets of the class such as the "syllabus" or the "special grading scale." I tuned her out for the most part and couldn't take my eyes off my mysterious college adonis that was occupying the chair next to mine. After the class finally dismissed, I grabbed his arm and felt a searing heat of passion flow through my appendage as I hesitantly asked him his name.
