Me and a Friend (dedicated to her) made these up
Jokes
There are 3 bears (A mum, a dad and a son.) They are on a plane and they realise it's going to crash. they find two parachutes. so mum and dad takes them "what about me mum?" the son asks they reply "sorry son" and they jump out the plane. The plane crashes and the two reaches the ground safely. They see their son and asks "how did you get down son?" and he replies " me not daft, me not silly, me cling onto daddy's willy"
A polar bear asks his mum "are you sure I'm a polar bear and not a brown bear?" the mum answers "yes son why?" so the polar bear walks away he asks the same question to his dad he replies " yeas son why?" so he walks away again. He asks his uncle the question and he replies "yes son why?" and the polar bear says "cos I'm fucking freezing!"
poems
sweet and sugar hard as ice
you hurt me once I kill you twice.
My lips are a gun
My smile is the trigger
my kisses are the bullets
so call me a killer
Jack and Jill went up the hill to plan to do some kissing
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
and now his two front teeth are missing!
Two nuns are crossing the boarder when they are pulled over by security
One nun says to the other "don't worry just show them your cross".So the other nun turns to the officer and tells him to piss off!
