HIYAAAAA!! It's the author :) You see that amazing drawing up there? Well, it WAS NOT MADE BY ME... Also the beautiful art on the cover page of this book is also not made by me. CREDIT TO THE EXCELLENT ARTISTS WHO DREW, THAT IT'S TRULY AMAZING!! (Don't copyright me please.) Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I really appreciate it.. Enjoy ( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉) (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)
Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a fairy princess who pooped on everyone. When I say everyone I literally mean everyone. Wait, wait, wait what do I see here? It's a beautiful blonde haired mage frolicking through a town. It's a rare sight to see someone who has not fallen subject to the fairy princess' antics. Author's note- The lemon will proceed in a few paragraphs from now ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉). Many people disliked the fairy princess. Why, you may ask is the fairy princess so disliked upon? Well, let me tell you, she is UGLY AF. Usually people are pretty normal and not ugly in the eyes of society, but she is a total exception. Her ugliness drives people to the brink of insanity if seen 50000000000 Billion light years away. Just for you to have an image not even close enough in comparison to her, I'll be kind enough to engrave her face in your mind with a profile of her.
Fairy princess 🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♂️🧚♀️🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♂️🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♀️- Let's start off with the pile of skunk doo-doo on her head. Let's say that Bob Ross' wig and Medusa's hair 🐍 had a baby. In conclusion the baby's hair is going to be very, and I mean very F'ed up, AMI'RIGHT? Author's note- All respect to Bob Ross... full homo. To make it worse the snakes on Medusa's wig is exchanged for burnt Donald Trump style naked mole rats and medium baked earthworms squirming around. Now, picture Patrick Stars's butt. Mmmmmm ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=ε✄ , sexy right? Replace that with cookie monster's big fat donkey (a$$,) and there you have a representation of her visage (face.) Imagine Natsu (*rapidly fans face with hand*) PRETTY DARN POPEYES SEXY, huh? Well, you just got trolled because she's the exact opposite.
As Lucy carelessly shopped around town she suddenly felt a drip of water. It's starting to rain, she sadly thought as she had ironed her hair that morning. Then it started to smell bad, kind of like seagull droppings. "Ew!" she exclaimed as a whole rocket full of poop exploded on her once baby blue shirt. Raising her fists in agony she caught sight of the fairy princess. She cringed at the look of its face and was immediately rewarded with a new fresh pile of cow dung. Lucy was outraged. How dare someone like that ugly duckling (who would never be beautiful ) do such an unpleasant thing. With anger boiling through her chest, she summoned one of her key cosas (celestial spirits) and commanded them to demolish the fairy. The fairy princess knew she had been beaten once she saw the spirit that was summoned. She frantically exclaimed, "Noooooooooo, I'm not going to die here!" She was not going to die without a fight so she instantly whipped out her final resorts if anything went wrong. Her pooper scooper cannons.
Lucy screamed, running quickly to her house dodging full fledged attacks of the pooper scooper. As Lucy reached the entrance of her house, she was then bombarded with the biggest pile of sh*t. She looked like a Sh*tman (snowman lol.) The fairy princess cackled, flying in slo-mo away from the scene knowing she had won. Lucy mad and smelly bolted into her house to take a nice, relaxing shower. Taking off her brown (blue) shirt her bing bongs bounced effortlessly. She giggled as she realized she had now been wearing that shirt for three years. Lucy twirled around, admiring her natural beauty on a mirror on the wall. She sighed, grabbing her brown (yellow) locks, knowing she would spend another 5 days getting them to their natural state. The perfect silence was rudely interrupted by a rambunctious Natsu bursting in through her door bursting fire everywhere. Natsu was screaming and yelling about "a robber" until he laid his eyes on the frightened mage. "Lucy," he said, hunger written all over his eyes. He slowly walked towards her with lust written on his face. "You've changed," he managed to whisper, slowly trapping Lucy against the wall." I never knew you look so different like this..... You can't do this to a dragon like me," he growled, licking his lips. Authors note- You guys are truly sick perverts, Lucy had a shirt under the shirt she took off. *facepalms*
Lucy was dumbfounded. How could an innocent little dragon like him make things sound so sexual. After throwing her chancleta (sandal) at him, she accepted his invite to go to the nearest Mc Donald's. Natsu happily roamed around the house waiting for her to take a shower and get dressed so they could depart.
Hunger evident in their famished faces and rumbling stomachs they had finally made it to McDonalds. Lucy and Natsu casually examined the menu aghast by the bountiful (more like unhealthy) options. Looking through the menu for a few more minutes they decided everything was disgusting. They were still so famished and wanted to eat something then and there. That's when an idea popped into Natsu's head. He cockily smirked at Lucy, and proudly told the woman he wanted their mascot, the clown guy, with extra hot sauce. Waiting for approximately 5 minutes their food was finally given to them. Natsu's broad shoulders covered the view of their order, but Lucy could tell something was up as she saw his arm hairs rise up like a cat's hair. Timidly peeking over Natsu, she internally facepalmed seeing her dad dressed up in a clown suit in a draw me like one of your french girl poses. "hEy BaBY," he said, wiggling his eyebrows too fast for her liking. "EW," Lucy screamed, pinching her nose in disgust. Natsu looked at her in surprise, and said, "He's plump and juicy like Peppa Pig; this is everything we could ask for." Lucy chuckled in astonishment and was soon put into shock as to how her dad was devoured in under two seconds by the one and only Natsu Dragneel. Authors note- Back at it again with the perverts. No, he did not eat the clown's di*k. What perverts 😭😭😭. NO HE DIDN'T
TO BE CONTIUED!!!!!
AUTHOR CHAN IS STUPID *bows*
YOU ARE READING
LUCY X NATSU Lemon/Smut🍋 (VERY ACIDIC)
RomanceFor all those perverted people out there I'm making a juicy lemon series. You better be 19+ this stuff is HAS VERY MATURE CONTENT.. please enjoy :D (one more time please click away if you're not 19+)
