Worth or Worthless

Chapter 1

Freshman year
"Hey! Jules!" I turn around to see Logan. My boyfriend at the time.
"Logan!" He walks up to me and kisses my forehead while I smile, "How are you?"
He looks down at me with the best smile ever and replies, "I'm great. How are you ?"
"I'm great!" I say looking down at my feet.
"What's wrong Jules?" He says while lifting my chin up to look at his now worried face.
"I'm fine!" I say smiling at him to make sure he buys it, because really and truly I've been talking to my best friend about how I'm planning on breaking up with him. One, he talks to all the girls and I've talked to him about it saying I don't like it and he needs to talk to them less and hang out with me more. Does he listen? No. Yes he does do sweet things like this to me, but I feel like it's all a lie. Two, my best friend is also best friends with him and she had to tell me that he's been treating her like she's nothing. Even though he knows she's been having a bad time. While he's treating me like a princess. Three, I feel like we are just really close friends and not actually in a relationship. All he does is give me hugs, holds my hand and cuddles with me. The only time any of that happens is only because I make the move. Yes, I love him, but I can't deal with this not only that but I'm so stressed with school work and band. It's all I think about and I've talked to more than one person about it almost everyone agrees with my decision.
"Ok then if you say so. Well I'm gonna go talk to friends. Bye see you later babe." He says walking to all the color guard girls that apparently hate me I don't know why but that's what he told me.
"Ok. Bye!" I just grab my bag and start walking around the school to the band room while looking down at my feet. When I walk into the band hall Amelia looks at me and runs to hug me. I start laughing while hugging her back."What's up?" She's shorter than me by a few inches so she has to look up at me. Amelia is my best friend though we have been best friends since 7th grade when she transferred to my school.
"Nothing much. What about you?" I look down at her and smile.
      "Same. So you ready for school?" I ask while I walk away from the hug. Then James walks into the hall and spots us. James is a senior I got to know because of band camp. I introduced him to Amelia now I think they like each other.
      "Hey Jules. Amelia." He walks towards us while smiling.
      "Hey!" We both say at the same time. Then look at each other and chuckle at each other. I look at James and start talking to him about band stuff. Amelia just looks at both of us as we talk. She eventually stopped our conversation and changed the topic so she can talk to us too.
A few days later
     Logan and I had a fight yesterday, I think it's time for me to end it. I'm just stressing out even more than I should. I had to go to a fundraising thing and I saw him there. We mostly just avoided each other. On that same day my mom asked me about it to make sure I knew I was doing the right thing and later that night I messaged him a paragraph saying I wanted to break up with him. Yeah I get I should have never done it over text but it was better that way cause then everyone would have been around when I did it.
Thursday of Homecoming week
     It's been like 2 - 3 weeks since Logan and I broke up. I met an old friend, Noah. Logan introduced me to him in 6th grade at a football game Logan, Noah, and I would always hang out but in 7th grade Noah became a freshman in highschool. I would always text him and talk to him about the most random things ever. I slowly started to form a crush on him and so did he. I didn't really wanna date at the time so I declined him. A few weeks after that incident we fought about something and I was really really mad at him about it that I deleted and blocked his number. A few days later when I calmed down I was heartbroken about what I did. There was no way I could contact him because I didn't memorize his number. We didn't talked for 2 years now I'm in highschool and I see him in the halls every once in a while, when I do see him I say hi. So after school I had to March around the school and then I was allowed to go and hang out with people on the football field. As I was walking around I spotted Noah.
     "Noah!" I smiled and yelled at him. He looks at me surprised.
     He starts walking over and replies with,"Whats wrong Jules?" I look up at him since he's 6 foot and I'm 5 foot.
     "Nothing. I just wanted to walk and talk." He looks at me weirdly.
      "With me?" He says with a disgusted face."Why would you want to do that with me?"
      I laughed and looked at him,"Cause why not? We're friends right?"
      "Sure." He replies so confused.
       Two hours later and I realized I still had feelings for him. I didn't realize it until he told me he had a girlfriend and the only reason I figured it out was because I was hurt by the fact that he told me he had one. I ignored it though and continued walking and talking with him.