inside an emo's head

day 1

I wake up like any other day. my mom was in the kitchen making pancakes like she does every Saturday. I sit up on my bed and putt on my glasses. then pick up my phone. i look at the times and roll my eyes. "IT'S TOO EARLY" i tell myself and plop down on my bed, grabbing my pillow and put it over my head. my mom walks in and tells me to get up because i have a meeting with my therapist  at 1. i honestly don't know why my mom would take me to my therapist i'm perfectly fine. well that's what i think. i sit up again and i get a message from my friend. "hey we go'en to the skate park today?" it said. i pick up the phone and just say "yes." and then put the phone back down. my mom walks back in and tells me to bring my guitar. i raise one eyebrow and then she says "and your song book". i just look at her with confusion and then she tells me to just roll with it. 

i get my guitar and song book and walk out of my room. my mom asked if i was okay and if i wanted to eat. i smiled and said yeah i'm okay but i don't wanna eat. my mom had this worried face and so i sat down and told her that i do want to eat. she smiles at me and gives me a pancakes. i look around and i wonder where is the little monster that is my brother. my brothers only 10 month younger then me but i still call him my little brother. i hear the seat next to me and then i say "talk bout the devil." he gives me an evil smile and he comes back with "awe where you looking at a mirror again" i punch his arm and he fucks up my hair. "maaaa" i yell out. "don't do that to your sister" she says. i stick my tong out and close my eyes at him. my mom looks at the time and starts to panic a little. she tells me to eat quickly cause we're gonna be late. i just leave the plate and go to the car with the things my mom told me to bring. 

we get there and my mom signs in. they asked me if it was the first time I've been here. and i nodded my head. they told me to not be scared. they told me to walk to the door at my right. they didn't let my mom come with me. the therapist tells me that her name was Karina and that this is a safe place to let anything out. that i can say anything i want and i wouldn't be judges. she asked me if she can see my lyric book. she was turning the pages and stooped in one of the pages. she passed me my book and told me to read it out loud.

"can anyone hear me, help me, save me, can't breathe. can you hear me. am i ingnored, save me from the voices in my head, telling me to kill my self, nobody would notice, its okay, its for the better. can you hear me, can you help me, save, can't breathe. can you hear me. am i being ingnored.