Dear, Jordyn

💜

Dear Jordyn,

Hello.

It's been taking me hours of thought, research, planning, etc. to make this letter thing. But here goes...

"difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations" ~unknown

Knowing you has been one of the best experiences in my entire life. Laughing, crying, dancing, talking, roleplaying, and just staying up all night with each other. And being an online friend makes it even easier. Because we both have sociophobia and talking face to face would bring anxiety. Talking through a screen made bonding easier. Instead of me being shy and not saying much irl, I was able to bond with you. I was able to see the wonderful person that you are, that you're growing to be, and the bright future ahead of you. I was able to learn that you love yaoi (cause who doesn't 😍😍😍), that you love k-pop (especially BTS), that you have a wonderful sense of humor, you having the kindest heart, you're a wonderful person but some people don't realise that, you're one of the most beautiful people I know (especially when you dye your hair, like yessss honey 💜💜😂), you're smart, you're awesome at roleplaying, and your love is eternal (even though I'm a failure and make mistakes, you're still somehow my friend, thank you 💜), and so much more. I've also learned that you doubt yourself, you underestimate all of the wonderful things you can do, you call yourself all sorts of bad things, and depression and being suicidal doesn't help. But guess what, you've lasted 14 years. 14 long, hard, happy, depressing, frustrating, exciting, stressful years. But you made it. You made it through your problems. You've made it through bad times, good times, and times where you've felt nothing at all. Times like last night where you've lost all hope. Lost your will to live. But guess what. You're still alive. Still breathing. Still standing. Still fighting. And I'm so proud of you to have made it this far. So proud that even after bad things happened, you picked yourself up and kept on going. Even if you have scars, weaknesses, insecurities, sadness. You're still a wonderful person. No matter what your brain- or anyone tells you. You are, and will always be magnificent.

"we didn't realize we were making memories. we just knew we were having fun" ~unknown

Being friends with you for over a year has been... magical. All of the wonderful ships we've had (BokuroxPanda JaexYasashi BamBamxYasashi and many more), all of the magic you taught me (the boob thing worked but not the genie X3), all of those weird late night conversations (XD), and so much more. You support me and me supporting you. All things I wanna keep doing forever. It'd be the worst thing ever to lose you. Even just last night, when I thought you were gone, I was an uncontrollable mess. You're so special to me. I couldn't live without you. I can't. You're the one person I've met who's never truly hurt me. Never. And you're so kind, I know that you'll never. You don't deserve half of the stuff that happens to you. But life will never be perfect- hell, most of the time it seems like it'll never be good. But, always remember. No matter how bad you feel. No matter what has you feeling like you should end your life. Remeber that the people who truly care will always love you. No matter what. The people who leave easily over small/petty things weren't worth it. Both of my parents have 2-3 friends. Those friends they've known since middle/high school. Those where the people that stuck with them through thick and thin. And you have those people also. And will probably meet more of them in high school. And I know that you're one of those people to me. That no matter what- even if amino shuts down. You'll always have a personal suite in my heart. You could even say you hate me, yell at me for something, even curse me out. My love for you will never break. Ever. Even if you turn out to be a 40-year-old man who lives in Canada. I'd still love you. (even tho that'd be really weird). I want you to always know that I'm gonna be here for you. No matter what. I won't ever judge you, I won't ever drive you away, I won't ever lose you. I'll do everything in my power to help you. Even if I die trying.

I love you ♥

"i wish i could see you tommorow, even just for a second" ~unknown

Dying will only stop your life. Be q momentary escape from the unbearable pain. But it won't be worth it. Yes, you'll be up in heaven (or a ghost, or what your religion believes to be the afterlife) but you're not human. You can't go get ice cream with friends, you can't kiss your girlfriend in school, you can't stay up roleplaying yaoi with your friends, you can't live anymore. You'd be giving all of that up. I'm not saying that these things are the things you should be alive for. It wouldnt make sense to stay alive just to go get ice cream during the summer. I'm saying that staying alive is worth it for the experiences. For the crazy adventures you'll go through. The memories you'll make- good and bad. It's all apart of life and its worth it. 100% worth it. You'll be able to fall in love, graduate college, follow your dreams, you could even have kids if you want. The possibilities are endless. Even if you don't see it now. One day, you'll look back and think "I never knew I'd come this far". And you'd probably be onstage with BTS singing like the QUEEN I know that you are. And if you stay alive long enough. One day we could see eachother. Meet irl and have the best day ever. So many chances to take, things to do, you have your whole life ahead of you. I'd hate for you to never have those wonderful experiences. Even just something simple like sharing a milkshake with your girlfriend. (this section may be confusing, sorry, but the point was to say that you have your whole life ahead of you and I want you to enjoy it and make the most of it).

"thank you for being the reason I smile" ~unknown

Always know that you're not alone. Not at all. We'll always be here for you. No matter what. I may not always understand how you feel or know what to say, but I'll always do my best to help you. Everything in my power. And so many people love you. Your family, girlfriend, friends at school, and us online:

"You're more beautiful than my cat." ~Jason

"U have a heart of gold, mind of platinum, and a soul of pure diamond."
~Jasmine

"Your an awesome friend and has made my life better and I'm so lucky to have met a amazing person like you.٩( *˙0˙*)۶"
~Posh

We all love you Jordyn. We'd never want you gone. If you ever need help, please come to us, we'll love you regardless. I promise. I really hope you like this. Because I can't express how much I want you to stay alive. How much you mean to me. Far more than you can imagine.

💜 I LOVE YOU 💜