alone

I open my eyes to a hazy darkness and the slow sound of a beating heart. At least that's what I think it is, although it sounds completely wrong. I am a med student, and that dosn't sound like a regular heartbeat. It sounds almost ghostly, being the only noise around. I feel like I am floating just under the surface of the water, not being able to breathe. But for some reason, it is calming. I try to look around, searching for something other then this endless void of dark, but I see nothing. I am so confused as to why I am here, where ever here is. I dwindle upon the thought that I might be dead, but that thought quickly leaves my mind. There is no such thing as an afterlife. But that still left a question, where was I?

It had been awhile since I had arrived here. Nothing had changed. I don't even remember what my parents look like. Not that I should remember them very well. They died six years ago, or had it been more? How long had it been? When was the last time I'd seen daylight? I was going insane. I need to do something, so I decided to stand up, pick a direction, and start running. Any direction. It dosn't matter. I am still seeing haze and black. I can't see my body, it is like it was never there, but I will continue pushing forward. I can't tell if I am actually moving. Maybe I am blind and deaf, only to that beating of the broken heart, reminding me of how long I have been in this godforsaken place. I stop running, and sit down, knowing that running is futile. Then the thought occurred  to me. I haven't taken a single breath since I have arrived. Not a single breath. And when I try to breathe, I can't. I physically cannot breath, as if my lungs were ripped out of my chest.

I scream. I run. I try to find a way to escape. But I never become tired. My throat never becomes sore. I find that when I close my eyes, everything becomes more peaceful. I don't see that hazy, haunting blackness that surrounds me. It is a cage that's open, but I can never find the means to escape. It had been, I don't know how long, since I had been there, and I can't think back to when I was in the world without a small piece of myself breaking. I can't remember where I lived, who I knew. All I know was nameless faces and faceless names. It's all so maddeningly useless. I can't even remember my own name. So, I give up. I give up trying. I give up my life.

And I am rewarded.

Everything suddenly changes. A bright light flashes in front of me. It stayes amazingly bright, my eyes need time to adjust to this newfound brightness. The haze left and I finally am awake and breathing. I take a breath of stale air, filling my dusty lungs. My eyes open and close, not believing what I was looking at. Another human! For the first time in an eternity. My eyes close once again, and when I wake up from the blissful sleep, I am sitting up. There is a person there, next to me. He notices me looking and says something.

"Merissa Carol? Are you feeling better?" Says the strange person in a baritone voice. I stare at him quizzically.

"Hello, who are you?" I ask slowly, my throat sore from not speaking For so long. Or maybe it was from a lack of drinking, I think, as I first notice the IV in my arm.

"My name is doctor Ember. You were in a car accident. You were found unconscious at the scene. You have brain trauma and multiple bruised ribs. No one else was hurt in the car crash. Can you tell me your date of birth? " the strange doctor said as he shined a flashlight in my eyes.

"Actually, no. I don't think I can."