therapy / e.d

4

"The cafeteria food is terrible. Take my word for it." I tell Ethan, taking a bite out of my peanut butter and jam sandwich. I got food poisoning back in sophomore year from the lasagna here and I've been off the cafeteria food ever since.

"Lucky I came prepared then." He takes out a turkey sandwich from his bag before sitting in front of me at one of the library desks.

Turns out Ethan and I are more similar than I thought. When I told him I spent my lunch hour in the library, he revealed he did the same at his old school saying he hates crowds to which I agreed. He never eats cafeteria food and he's just as introverted as I am.

"Have you always lived in Jersey?" I ask, wanting to get to know him.

He nods, taking a bite of his sandwich. Swallowing quickly, he elaborates. "I used to live in Corbin City."

Wow. Corbin City? I didn't think Ethan moved county's. I simply thought he moved schools. Trenton is a big step up from Corbin City, I mean it is the capital of NJ after all.

Why would Ethan need a fresh start from there? I'm intrigued to find out. I mean it's probably to be closer to the city centre.

"What's it like over there? Isn't it very remote?" I ask. I know Corbin City is pretty much the smallest town in NJ but thats about it.

He nods.

"How do you like the city?" I ask, biting into my sandwich.

"I mean, its going to take some getting used to." He says, without enthusiasm.

"So... you don't like it?" I ask and he simply shrugs. If he doesn't like the city, why did he move? I need more details than just 'fresh start'. Gosh, I forgot how curious I can get.

"Then why did you move all the way here?" I press, wanting answers.

Ethan peers at me, raising an eyebrow before smirking. "Do you always ask this many questions?"

I flush, letting out a nervous laugh. I hadn't even realised how many questions I've asked him. I just want him to settle in TCHS comfortably and make a friend.

"Not usually. I'm just curious sometimes." Ethan nods stiffly, staring at me. I sigh. "Sorry if I'm pushing any boundaries."

"You're not. But if its alright with you, I'd like to keep myself a mystery for a little while." He taunts, jokingly but I know he's serious.

I nod. "Sure."

"I can't do this." I stop myself from explaining the memory any further.

"You've been doing really well, Mia." Dr Evans gives me a smile and I sigh, squeezing the stress ball, tightly.

I tighten my arms around my bent legs, still feeling anxious and it's only the second session of therapy. We picked up from where we left off, with me focusing on the positive memories of Ethan but I'm struggling.

Looking back on the memories, things are slowly being pieced together, making my heart ache. The memories are positive on the surface but the more I dig deeper, I release how dark they are as I relive it and how much it hurts to reflect on these memories.

"You don't understand." I mumble, tears burning at my bottom lashes.

"Make me understand. Let it out."

I rub my eyes with my palm, drying the stupid tears that fall from my eyes like a drip nowadays.

"The more I talk about my memories, it's like dots are connecting in my head." I bite the dry skin on my lips.